cybermule: (ben)
[personal profile] cybermule
I'm leaving a lot of these more general entries about going through the processes with an SEN child unlocked. Someone else might run across them and find them useful.

This is difficult.

I feel grief for the loss of my child's simple happy early years. And I feel anger that this is so difficult and so time consuming for me. And anger that this must be even worse for other people less capable.

Everyone thinks my child has what their child has. I get that. We all want someone to walk this road with us. And everyone thinks that their child's school is the absolute best and most awesome. If you didn't, I would question why you sent your child there, to be honest. Good choice, well done. It's not going to fix things for my kid like a magic bullet though.

I feel patronised. I can accept a diagnosis, but what I can't accept is a label stuck on my child right now when I don't agree with it. I'm not in denial. Telling me that I am, however gently, is patronising.

So I've thought long and hard about what I will accept, for me and my child, right now. And here it is:

I have a fiercely intelligent, beautifully creative and quietly sociable child; he also has traits of autism.

Date: 2013-12-11 08:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
"You're in denial" can so be used as a "I don't want to listen to your actual experience when you disagree with me" - and I don't like it when people do that. Telling someone they're in denial is rarely a helpful intervention, and never is if it doesn't take into account the person's experience.

Go you for being clear.

Date: 2013-12-12 10:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you. Getting a nice clear verbal stance in my head always helps me to sort things out psychologically.

Date: 2013-12-12 10:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It's about the narrative, I guess.

Date: 2013-12-12 05:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That doesn't look like denial to me. And I am still in awe of your leet coping skillz. (((supportive hugz)))
Edited Date: 2013-12-12 05:56 pm (UTC)

Date: 2013-12-12 10:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you, hon *hugs back*

Date: 2013-12-13 01:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I send you strength in all manner of that word.

Date: 2013-12-14 08:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you. I'm acutely aware that I have a National Health Service at my disposal. Really, I don't know how people cope with this.

July 2017


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