cybermule: (Default)
- Ben doesn't exist to make me happy. Many parents seem to miss this, and I almost feel that an unplanned baby was a blessing in making this point clear to me. Following on from that, I don't even exist to make Ben happy. I'm here to give him the tools to make himself happy.


- Why do we expect our jobs to make us happy and fulfilled? They're there to serve a purpose, but expecting more than that is like expecting eating, breathing or sleeping to make us happy. It's taken two months away to make me realise that.
cybermule: (Default)
I miss the effortless hair and skin of pregnancy. Although baby puke is doing nothing for the condition of either.

I also wish I had a mum. I'm sure I'm idealising the concept, and I have wonderful friends who'll step in, but I want that 24-hour access to baby advice and emergency Ben's-been-screaming-for-3-hours respite care.
cybermule: (Default)
Slowly coming to the end of the cold from hell - nearly two weeks of feeling shit. Thank you depressed immune system :/ The biggest side effect (after snot and coughing) has been the ensuing lack of sleep, which is probably why I've been crashed out most of the weekend.

Doesn't stop me beating myself up for my lack of productivity. I think I'm just nuts, to be honest.

Yesterday, I went to Glastonbury with [personal profile] ninneviane, [profile] treborjones and [livejournal.com profile] 0ct0pus. I had the best day ever, and even struggled up to the top of the tor. Not bad :)

Struggled up to Stroud on Saturday to do crappy family stuff. It was the feckin' horse trials at Badminton, so took me about an hour each way. I counted 286 landrovers coming the opposite way in a 10-mile stretch of A46. I also bought some nappies and petted a tiny baby sheep. Memmis Bach! As [livejournal.com profile] 0ct0pus rightly pointed out, if I'm being rational, I do do a fair amount of stuff for someone who's dropping a sprog next month.

My mum's newest trick is to refuse to do anything constructive that she previously agreed to, and when challenged she points to me and says she only ever agreed because "she made me". Which is fairly embarrassing in a high street bank on a busy Saturday morning. But ho-hum - just got to get her signature and a letter from the DHS and she'll have her very own independent life.

Which she doesn't want.

Three more days of work to go until I can leave. Phew. All I have to do now is teach my replacement (who never smiles) how to do my job (even though she's never done any programming) while smiling sweetly at the fact she's already being paid about 5k a year more than me. Oh well. 1 week of work, followed by 4 weeks of playing Final Fantasy, then I'll be a mum.

I hereby solemnly swear that I will never go back to working full-time at that place, even when the baby's old enough to go to school.

Hmm

Feb. 18th, 2007 06:30 pm
cybermule: (Default)
I did a 5k run today :) Not in the calmest fashion, I have to admit, but I finished. Now I hurt, so I think that's probably pretty much enough of that until past-partum.

Unless anyone wants to walk really slowly with me round the Race for Life ;)

I've been doing lots of knitting. I have, in fact, turned into knit-geek. There's a little shop in Chipping Sodbury that supplies me with my fixes, and the gentleman that runs it is like an elderly Timothy Spall. One day I'll post pictures of wonky bootees, as for some reason I'm inordinately into knitting.

I went to Tai Chi this week for the first time ever, and next week I'm off to Yoga classes with Ben and Liz. I'm really looking foward to it. And I had a lovely meal with my ex-flatmates, and everything is extremely warm and pleasant. I watch a lot of Scrubs, and even cook occasionally.

Yesterday, we spring-cleaned my mum's flat. Oh dear god! Blech. *shudder*

And Monday after tomorrow, I'm off to Edinburgh for a few days. Has anyone been there and can recommend things?

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