Sad news.

Oct. 28th, 2009 10:51 pm
cybermule: (Default)
My mumma passed away at some point last night. It was sudden, and we won't know why until the post mortem reports. Comments aren't really necessary - I know you care :) - but will be away from various online places for a time while I regroup and deal with all sorts of stuff, practical and emotional. With love to all of you, and hold those you love a little closer for me and for the memory of Claire Wood, 1952-2009 x
cybermule: (Default)
...I hope. I had a run of bad sleep problems, but new pillows seemed to fix it. Now i have a massive sleep debt to fix and am mostly feeling worse for the good sleep. The sprog is still fussing before nap and bed, but the fuss-time is decreasing. We could probably have fixed it sooner but for his tummy bug last week which knocked us all for six (I didn't get it, thank god) and meant that leaving him to fuss and settle himself wasn't really an option as he as obviously feeling really bloody ill.

We had a much needed spa day on Friday, bot relaxing and good couple time. Then I had a yoga workshop on Sunday which means I ended up super relaxed but aching like a little yoga bitch. Still. I should do more yoga. My fitness is improving, but I miss the stretch and de-stress of non-aerobic exercise.

Things are slowly taking shape in the garden. Everything seems like a long slow process these days - sometimes I miss the freedoms of non-motherhood.

I also have a job interview for the web job I mentioned about a month ago. As the three week window of interview had passed, I'd written it off. But then they wanted me anyway. It's not gardening, so not part of the long-term love, but it is a damn good opportunity, so fingers crossed. Their website needs a lot of work, so it's something I could get my teeth into. I like that in a job :)
cybermule: (Default)
I miss the effortless hair and skin of pregnancy. Although baby puke is doing nothing for the condition of either.

I also wish I had a mum. I'm sure I'm idealising the concept, and I have wonderful friends who'll step in, but I want that 24-hour access to baby advice and emergency Ben's-been-screaming-for-3-hours respite care.
cybermule: (Default)
[profile] 0ct0pus is a hero - he went to do a really shitty and pointless day at work today which I would have unquestionably skived.

In other news, I seem to have lots of nice friends at the moment. I also enjoyed POTC3. I spend most of my days gardening and playing Final Fantasy 12, and after an initial panic attack at not having work to eat up my day structure my time, it seems to be suiting me. I'm house-sitting for my aunt next week.

The garden is flourishing. If I take it really easy, I can even get landscaping work done. I have to sit down whenever I can as I look like a butternut squash on legs, and unborn thrashes around even more if I bend over. It's mighty disconcerting having someone kick your abdomen from the inside, although not actually painful. Just over two weeks to go...

Gold car continues to be great. I haven't spoken to my mum in weeks, although I do still periodically brood and fret about the whole situation. I guess what really bothers me is that people will sit there and listen to me being slandered when they know it's not true, but just not say a thing. I couldn't do that to my worst enemy - I'm always there going, "well, that's not strictly true". Anyway, best away from the crazy people.

Can't think of anything else that's going on. My vegetable plants are taking off. Back to the garden...
cybermule: (Default)
Slowly coming to the end of the cold from hell - nearly two weeks of feeling shit. Thank you depressed immune system :/ The biggest side effect (after snot and coughing) has been the ensuing lack of sleep, which is probably why I've been crashed out most of the weekend.

Doesn't stop me beating myself up for my lack of productivity. I think I'm just nuts, to be honest.

Yesterday, I went to Glastonbury with [personal profile] ninneviane, [profile] treborjones and [ profile] 0ct0pus. I had the best day ever, and even struggled up to the top of the tor. Not bad :)

Struggled up to Stroud on Saturday to do crappy family stuff. It was the feckin' horse trials at Badminton, so took me about an hour each way. I counted 286 landrovers coming the opposite way in a 10-mile stretch of A46. I also bought some nappies and petted a tiny baby sheep. Memmis Bach! As [ profile] 0ct0pus rightly pointed out, if I'm being rational, I do do a fair amount of stuff for someone who's dropping a sprog next month.

My mum's newest trick is to refuse to do anything constructive that she previously agreed to, and when challenged she points to me and says she only ever agreed because "she made me". Which is fairly embarrassing in a high street bank on a busy Saturday morning. But ho-hum - just got to get her signature and a letter from the DHS and she'll have her very own independent life.

Which she doesn't want.

Three more days of work to go until I can leave. Phew. All I have to do now is teach my replacement (who never smiles) how to do my job (even though she's never done any programming) while smiling sweetly at the fact she's already being paid about 5k a year more than me. Oh well. 1 week of work, followed by 4 weeks of playing Final Fantasy, then I'll be a mum.

I hereby solemnly swear that I will never go back to working full-time at that place, even when the baby's old enough to go to school.
cybermule: (Default)
My mum. Well, last night I got a phone message from her saying she was dying and I needed to contact her immediately. Feeling around 110% sure that she wasn't, I obviously still had to call. She answered the phone sounding perky and saying she was fine, but after a little probing (e.g. "so why did you leave a message for me to phone you?"), she said that she needed more money as the same women who'd robbed her before had come round again and taken all her money.

I'm pretty sure she has them round for drinking sessions, then they rob her when she passes out.

I asked her what she wanted me to do about it (which was obviously bring her money right then) and said that she'd just have to wait until one of us was free to make the 50 mile round trip to give her more money. I resisted the temptation to ask for her friends' address so I could just post it straight to them, but I did ask why she'd left a dramatic message. She just burst into peals of laughter that she'd managed to fool me.

Rearrange this mum: boy cried who wolf.

I got bored at that point and hung up. Instead I watched X-Men, which was rubbish but at least was better than listening to my mum drivel on.

In other news, I have a cold. Which sucks. But I also have a day off and I'm going to Bruxelles at the weekend. I'm very excited about the Eurostar :)) And about my new shredder, which makes me feel efficient.
cybermule: (Default)
I like to start a break with a bit of a tidy up. Especially when that gets rid of the mountain of bits of paper that have been obscuring my desk at home for weeks now. I've improved the layout of my room - there's a new bookcase to give some nursery space, and my dad's set of shelves is now on my desk, which I'm really pleased with.

Other than that, from now on I'm limited to one useful chore around the house per day. The only exception to that is anything to do with plants or photos - I can do as much as I want there as they're both relaxing and sadly neglected right now. It'll be good to catch up.

Basically, I don't have to go back to work until the 23rd. Woot!

One thing - I want to get myself a cheap printer. Colour would be nice, along with low running costs (although I'm not going to print much). The crunch is that it needs to work with Linux (specifically Ubuntu). This is the sort of thing I hate organising with Linux, so if anyone knows one that will work...

We had our first ante-natal class yesterday. Along with the expectant couple from hell - they've had sickness, diabetes, waters breaking, separating pubis, wrong shaped coccyx, and the local nappy scheme didn't cover the expensive american nappies they'd had their eye on ;) Seriously, I've been blessed with an easy pregnancy, and I really do have sympathy for them. But some people just seem to be disaster areas that you can spot coming...

My mum's still ensconced in hospital. Which is great, because as she's now one week clear of any vodka consumption, she's actually reasonably pleasant company. Physically she's knackered - she can't even sit up of her own accord. If I were more religious, I would say that that sort of alcoholism is a demon possession - it sucks you dry of everything, then just re-animates you into a vicious banshee. Here's hoping it'll last a couple of months. Wouldn't it be great if she were sober for the birth of her first grandchild?*

* I know that this is probably hideously unrealistic, but it doesn't seem to help anything much to assume the worst is going to happen, so I'm just going to hope for the best
cybermule: (Default)
Them there spartans sure did good!

Thanks for sympathetic comments for all the "mum stuff". Each one was much appreciated, but I'm not going to answer them all because that's all I'd say.

(Edit: this was a good resource:

We had a lovely few days in Italy. Capri was brilliant - did some walking, and went up to Jove's villa, which was my personal highlight along with the spiffy hotel :)

Am starting to feel a little like a football balanced on two cocktail sticks, but am feeling generally more energetic and less achey, so that's good. Only 10 more weeks to go...
cybermule: (Default)
Mum - so what have you been doing recently?
Mule - mostly working and stuff, but I've got into knitting.
Mum - knitting? Peh! [sounds scornful]
Mule - Actually, it's more fun than I imagined - I've got quite good at it.
Mum - Oh, you get that from me. I was brilliant at knitting. I used to knit everything for you and your brother.

*bangs head on table*

Note that after that, the conversation just descended into how fat I'd got recently, and how long it took to give birth to me cos I had a huge head and lots of medical problems and was a really difficult baby. Whereas my brother didn't hurt at all, the entire labour took forty minutes, and she was thinner after she'd had him than she'd ever been. Miracle baby.
cybermule: (Default)

  • Snakes on A Plane was fab. So much better than I was expecting it to be. So kind of "quality crap" really.
  • What to do about my mum? No time to debate at length here, but it's making me sick with worry. Need to do something.
  • Will I still carry on the life coaching course? Hard pressed for time right now, but it will be over with by November.
  • Ran for nearly an hour yesterday. Very very slowly. I'm not sure whether to enter the 10km in October or not - I might just disgrace myself with a super-lame time.
  • Vaguely related to the above, I've lost a few more pounds. It's coming off slowly, but steadily. Which is the way I want it, really.
  • Spoken to my lodger and she's OK with me giving her notice. Big phew. Now there's nobody I need to avoid around the corridors of work.
  • Going to the final peak at the weekend - up Scafell Pike!
  • Books read recently - The Laments, The Ice House, A Map of the World, Jpod. All fluffy, but good.


Aug. 18th, 2006 02:37 pm
cybermule: (Default)
Well, this week's been a bit pants, to be honest. Had a very strange bender at the weekend, then dealt with a week where I had to admit defeat on the niggling pain in my foot, and the fact that my mum needs more care than I'm currently prepared to give her.

Both of which are fairly depressing. No running, constant feeling of filial guilt. And I'm coming down with something.

At least I've re-stocked on wasabi peas.
cybermule: (Default)
OK, today is not going well.

My mum managed to elicit twice her due amount of money from me and my brother on Saturday. Which means she went on a massive bender for a few days. Which means she's now virtually incapable.

I don't actually care all that much. Except her mum (my gran) keeps phoning me every 12 hours in floods of hysterical tears, leaving messages for me to go up and help my poor mother.

Without wishing to sound heartless, I don't actually care all that much. Plus, I'm hugely busy and hugely exhausted.

I can't concentrate on my work with this going on in my ear all the time.

And I'm finding it increasingly hard to deal with one of my rpojects without telling the guy he's stupid. It's not my fault - he's driving me into the corner of no return.

Anyway. The weekend was good. I went walking and canoeing with [profile] d_ph4ze, which rocked. I did my 3 minutes upgrade to my running with little problem, and I blagged about £500 worth of garden design contract.

And yesterday I went to see my godson, who's all of teh cute.

Doesn't alter the fact that I'm knackered. Snore.
cybermule: (Default)
I cycled into work this morning. About 8 miles, and about 40 minutes of cycling. Which isn't too shoddy, considering I haven't cycled for a while. And in the realms of TMI, it is clearing out my lungs. post-quit.

Luckily, I remembered to bring my toiletries to shower when I arrived at work. Otherwise, I would have had to be the recipient of toiletry-related alms.

We got a notice at work that we might like to bring in any unwanted gifts of shower gel or shampoo so that staff who'd forgotten their own washing products would have something to use.

So I guess as well as having a subsidised gym, some of our well-off middle-class staff would also like free soap. Maybe staff should bring in some spare soap, and leave it at work for showering. Or, stroll across the subsidised shop on campus and buy some fricking soap.


And talking of things that make me go hrmph, Mothers' Day is looming. My mother, as usual, spent the past year being a drunken pain in the backside, but I'll still get her something. Mainly because if I don't, she'll phone up her family and complain, and they'll all go on about how ungrateful I am.


What I can do, in absence of an actual useful mother, is pretend I've got an actual useful mother, and buy her a big soppy card. It's the only way I can deal with these things at all rationally.

I never really use filters any more. Sorry to those people who just started getting blasted with my brain's inner workings. I just noticed that I can't be bothered. There's nothing there that I ashamed of enough to hide.

Anyhoo. In other news, I cleared the massive stack of paperwork in my kitchen. I just took my tax folder downstairs to the paper, and loaded all the bills into the folder. Much easier.

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