No more job

[cybermule]

Well, yesterday was the last day at work. I feel kind of numb about it, to be honest. Or maybe I just don't care that much, although I think I do. I would certainly rather have kept going another few months, but the odds were against it. I'm slightly nervous about my mental health. I've always had regular employment (or study) for nearly twenty years now. I've a little slef-esteem attached to it, certainly, but not so much that I value it highly. More that the odd couple of months here and there where I have had no work have been closely associated in my memory with depression, insomnia and plummeting mental health. There's a whole chicken and egg argument with this, and I know there are many factors then and now to work into the equation. I'm just kinda edgy is all I'm saying.

Anyway, I took a lot of positive things from the job. It was a linker to get me over leaving my career-type employment with little trauma． It was independent income and a chance to get out of the house and socialise in a work-chum type way. It was an immense confidence boost in that I not only became a lot more sure of what I knew, but also of how well I could constructively bullshit. Sometimes it's good to be detached from your work. And finally it was a good first step in a field which I've felt strongly drawn towards for a while now. I can build on this in several directions. My boss said I was good, and I should carry on in the field, and he was a nit-picking old queena boss of high standards.

I won't miss the endless sweeping and the arsehole customers. I only wish I'd been ruder.

Anyhow, future opportunities:

- expand the private gardening (at least deliver the leaflets I made at business class ages ago)
- chase the horticultural therapy voluntary post
- chase G re extra work on the IT-garden fusion project
- send my CV to Jekka's Herb Farm (who sounded interested)
- wait to hear back from garden centre B
- chase garden centre A

Plenty to do :)

Comments

[ninneviane.livejournal.com]

I'm just kinda edgy is all I'm saying.
I can understand that - but I'm sure you know life is very different to then...you didn't have a very cute 19 month old back when :)

Future opportunities sound good, a bit more exciting than mine (I just applied for two dinner supervisor positions...it's that bad :/) and a lot more exciting that what you have just left behind :)

[malcygoff.livejournal.com]

hey hey hey,

I think I know where the apprehension is coming from. Although of all of the people I know, I suspect that you are the one most likely to be able to establish future opportunities with the minimum of trouble.

That said, if you were to have some days "off", I'm sure that Ivy would appreciate the company during the day ;)))

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

Odd - she gives the impression of being quite self-sufficient :)

I'm sure I'll be fine, but thanks for the reassurance. It's always so much more, well, reassuring coming from someone more objective than myself.

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

Heh - dinner supervision is on my list too. I'm fortunate enough to be only doing it for the self-esteem and mental health, though, so I can try the other options first.

[aras-55555.livejournal.com]

I only wish I'd been ruder.

Hehe!

I've been a bit behind on keeping track of my f-list entries...good luck with the new opportunities!

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

Thanks - something will turn up I'm sure. Already getting used to not-working after the initial panic :)

I've not really been keeping up either - how are you?

[aras-55555.livejournal.com]

I'm doing okay-ish :) I find it funny to read about you carting around gravel and stuff, here everything is covered in soooo much snow, and there's probably more than a month of it to come yet.

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

Heheh - it just snowed here, and the country's been in chaos. Our winters are up and down weather-wise - warm and wet or cold and dry. Nothing really sets in, so you take your chances when you can.