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If it seems you're gonna fall, You've got 3 days to wander through
It's the weekend again. Last weekend I walked across the transporter bridge in Newport. I'm proud of that - I hate heights. I'm proud of my week. I have done many brave things.
I opened up to my therapist about my non standard sexuality and relationship modules, and it felt ok. I can go back to my original plan, and this time I will stick to it. I come home and my cat is thrilled to see me again, and she takes up much less space on my bed. My kid loves me, and we have a pretty much perfect relationship for two autistic women on opposite ends of the hormone journey. We do our thing, we help each other out, we regularly and happily reconnect, we own our shit.
What I'm saying here, I think, is that if I look into my world I see perfect templates for how I want my relationships to be - I just have to act on them. And I am more than capable of that. I can pick through a menu of what everyone needs in our interactions and make that work as well as it can.
I am not incapable. There is the fear of growing old alone, but I won't. And you can't totally defend yourself from that. People who are going to disappear will just do it anyway.
I opened up to my therapist about my non standard sexuality and relationship modules, and it felt ok. I can go back to my original plan, and this time I will stick to it. I come home and my cat is thrilled to see me again, and she takes up much less space on my bed. My kid loves me, and we have a pretty much perfect relationship for two autistic women on opposite ends of the hormone journey. We do our thing, we help each other out, we regularly and happily reconnect, we own our shit.
What I'm saying here, I think, is that if I look into my world I see perfect templates for how I want my relationships to be - I just have to act on them. And I am more than capable of that. I can pick through a menu of what everyone needs in our interactions and make that work as well as it can.
I am not incapable. There is the fear of growing old alone, but I won't. And you can't totally defend yourself from that. People who are going to disappear will just do it anyway.