No more job

Well, yesterday was the last day at work. I feel kind of numb about it, to be honest. Or maybe I just don't care that much, although I think I do. I would certainly rather have kept going another few months, but the odds were against it. I'm slightly nervous about my mental health. I've always had regular employment (or study) for nearly twenty years now. I've a little slef-esteem attached to it, certainly, but not so much that I value it highly. More that the odd couple of months here and there where I have had no work have been closely associated in my memory with depression, insomnia and plummeting mental health. There's a whole chicken and egg argument with this, and I know there are many factors then and now to work into the equation. I'm just kinda edgy is all I'm saying.

Anyway, I took a lot of positive things from the job. It was a linker to get me over leaving my career-type employment with little trauma． It was independent income and a chance to get out of the house and socialise in a work-chum type way. It was an immense confidence boost in that I not only became a lot more sure of what I knew, but also of how well I could constructively bullshit. Sometimes it's good to be detached from your work. And finally it was a good first step in a field which I've felt strongly drawn towards for a while now. I can build on this in several directions. My boss said I was good, and I should carry on in the field, and he was a nit-picking old queena boss of high standards.

I won't miss the endless sweeping and the arsehole customers. I only wish I'd been ruder.

Anyhow, future opportunities:

- expand the private gardening (at least deliver the leaflets I made at business class ages ago)
- chase the horticultural therapy voluntary post
- chase G re extra work on the IT-garden fusion project
- send my CV to Jekka's Herb Farm (who sounded interested)
- wait to hear back from garden centre B
- chase garden centre A

Plenty to do :)