random Friday afternoon thoughts

1. holy crap - I'm bored!
   
2. coloured contact lenses are much cheaper than I thought - I'm torn between green and aqua.
   
3. finally I've organised myself into getting a haircut.
   
4. last night, for the first time in months, I actually felt some joy at life. Which is odd. I think I'm starting to cope again.
   
5. I think "finding nemo" and mexican are in order for the weekend
   
6. I also must remember to blag my brother's matrix video and a CD I want to borrow
   
7. I have one huge email to reply to that I've been looking forward to for a few weeks now - I promise myself that I will do that at the weekend
   
8. I just hit "snooze" for the 15th week running on a really boring task :P
   
9. I treated myself to a new CD :) It's Friday, I'm bored and knackered, I've had a shit week - I'm going to indulge in some retail therapy, dammit!
   
10. 87 minutes until home
    

(no subject)

My boss' dad died yesterday. That hit me really hard, far harder than I would have expected. Almost worse than the same news affected me - when dad died, I had the luxury of being totally numb for a few days. I guess it just brought back that crappy day at work, then added to it by causing me to empathise incredibly painfully with Mario. I thought I was going to be sick or pass out or something :( Ii think it's also that I'm coming up for six months now - Tuesday is weighing on my mind. To be honest, I might just take a sick day and stay in bed. Maybe not though.

However, strangely, last night I had the greatest feeling of happiness I'd felt in months. To me, happiness is the mixture of excitement, anticipation and joy that I get when I realise I still have the rest of my life in front of me, and that it's beautiful and I really can do anything I want in it - travel, be a psychiatrist, fall in love, teach English in China, adore new friends, dye my hair purple, bungee jump, eat thai dinner every night, work on a kibbutz, start my own business. And a whole bunch of other stuff besides :p

I guess that much as I bitterly refuted the people who said that I'd grow and get stronger because of this, they were probably right.