(no subject)
Nov. 7th, 2003 03:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cybermuleMy boss' dad died yesterday. That hit me really hard, far harder than I would have expected. Almost worse than the same news affected me - when dad died, I had the luxury of being totally numb for a few days. I guess it just brought back that crappy day at work, then added to it by causing me to empathise incredibly painfully with Mario. I thought I was going to be sick or pass out or something :( Ii think it's also that I'm coming up for six months now - Tuesday is weighing on my mind. To be honest, I might just take a sick day and stay in bed. Maybe not though.
However, strangely, last night I had the greatest feeling of happiness I'd felt in months. To me, happiness is the mixture of excitement, anticipation and joy that I get when I realise I still have the rest of my life in front of me, and that it's beautiful and I really can do anything I want in it - travel, be a psychiatrist, fall in love, teach English in China, adore new friends, dye my hair purple, bungee jump, eat thai dinner every night, work on a kibbutz, start my own business. And a whole bunch of other stuff besides :p
I guess that much as I bitterly refuted the people who said that I'd grow and get stronger because of this, they were probably right.
However, strangely, last night I had the greatest feeling of happiness I'd felt in months. To me, happiness is the mixture of excitement, anticipation and joy that I get when I realise I still have the rest of my life in front of me, and that it's beautiful and I really can do anything I want in it - travel, be a psychiatrist, fall in love, teach English in China, adore new friends, dye my hair purple, bungee jump, eat thai dinner every night, work on a kibbutz, start my own business. And a whole bunch of other stuff besides :p
I guess that much as I bitterly refuted the people who said that I'd grow and get stronger because of this, they were probably right.
