The vogons have landed

Well, the mystery of the hole has been solved.

I had some incomprehensible photocopied letter shoved through my door explaining that my mains were being replaced. There were several alternative replacement strategies, most of which seemed to involve me being at home today. Which was difficult, as I only picked the letter up about 8 o'clock last night.

So I phoned the helpline to see how much of my time they needed.

No answer. Fair enough - I set my alarm for just before 8 so I could phone them first thing.

Got a phone call around 20 to 8 asking what the problem was. I pointed out quite reasonably that the problem was that I couldn't really take the day off at such short notice.

Oh, but I've had two whole days notice, which is all they have to give.

Fine, but I only picked the letter up last night.

Well, you've had two whole days to arrange a housesitter or take time off work.

Fine, but I only picked the letter up last night, so it's hard for me to arrange this now.

Well, you had two days notice, and if you could only be bothered to phone at 8:30 last night, we'll turn the gas off, and not turn it back on until about 6 hours after you next get home (slight paraphrasing).

I guess the plans were in triplicate at the bottom of a disused staircase somewhere.

And they dug the hole to rip the pipes out if I wasn't at home for them to turn the gas off properly.

Yeehah.