The Man Who Fell To Earth - Walter Tevis

The book is better than the film in the way books are, but no less depressing. I suspect the author is autistic as he also wrote the Queen's Gambit. And I identified with that too.

The bit that really hit me was when Bryce, the trusted scientist, says that he's too old to fail again as he may never recover. And that's how I feel about relationships now. The last one nearly fucking killed me. The next one might well finish me off. In the time it took to allegedly "work on the relationship" my friend got diagnosed and died with a rare form of cancer. My ex husband did his shitty thing again. The former in particular made me realise that life is far too short. If the last six months were the last ones of my life, I would feel sorely cheated. And I am not taking that risk again.