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cybermuleThe mystic and the mundane
...contrary to geological theory, I'm convinced that the world is made of sea, and all the land consists of floating islands :P
Cut to self-indulgent
Yesterday I had a dream. A tripping dream. A tripping dream where I closed my eyes and could vividly imagine peeling back the grass in my garden, like a giant child, and peering down through the soil with my x-ray eyes. Down through the earth and stones and bones, on down through the rocks and cracks and into a dark and monstrous sea. An oily black sea that lurks beneath the bright and brittle surface of the world.
This was only an "imagine with your eyes closed" dream, but that dark and monstrous sea drips into reality, oozing under the doors between "real" and "real real". Perhaps people hope that their goods and attachments will act as a draught-excluder, blocking the seeping flood. But when I was a kid, we had big floods, and no matter how many sandbags you stack along the cracks, the water still slurps in.
The sea is often in my dreams. When I'm asleep, the sea is bright nearly-white, dazzling and sterile. When I'm awake, the dream-sea is dark and oily. It lingers like slug-slime around the edges of woods at dusk, in caves, spilling out of the guts of evil people in their inhumanity. I saw a sea like that once, in California, near LA. Such a sluggishly dark contrast to the sparkling seas further north - exactly like my dreams!
After my subterranean excursion, I sat and thought about the world. I guess my life is imperfect - at times I become complacent, but luckily (so far!) my boredom kicks me back into the creative world of thought and action. But there is so much left that I want to do - be a psychiatrist, write a book, bungee jump, be an astronaut - and I don't want to somehow never get around to it.
I guess I look around and see "reality" as a bubble - a spherical skin that I just can't believe comprises all there is to my life and the world. I want to push and stretch that meniscus as far as I can - out and out in all and every direction, as far as I can without the bubble bursting. Or maybe the bubble should burst? Who knows! All I know is that I want to blur the boundary between what I experience as real and all the rest of existence that *has* to be out there.
I refuse to believe that this is all there is...
And back to the mundane: by the end of Tuesday, I must paint 4 picture frames, write and post 3 letters for my mother, book 2 tables for dinner and pass 1 linguistics exam :P As soon as that exam is over, I'm off travel-shopping: Amsterdam, Paris, Barcelona, backpacking around Greece and Turkey, possible trip to Canada. All of these need looking into. And I need to clear my garden before the winter :)
...contrary to geological theory, I'm convinced that the world is made of sea, and all the land consists of floating islands :P
Cut to self-indulgent
Yesterday I had a dream. A tripping dream. A tripping dream where I closed my eyes and could vividly imagine peeling back the grass in my garden, like a giant child, and peering down through the soil with my x-ray eyes. Down through the earth and stones and bones, on down through the rocks and cracks and into a dark and monstrous sea. An oily black sea that lurks beneath the bright and brittle surface of the world.
This was only an "imagine with your eyes closed" dream, but that dark and monstrous sea drips into reality, oozing under the doors between "real" and "real real". Perhaps people hope that their goods and attachments will act as a draught-excluder, blocking the seeping flood. But when I was a kid, we had big floods, and no matter how many sandbags you stack along the cracks, the water still slurps in.
The sea is often in my dreams. When I'm asleep, the sea is bright nearly-white, dazzling and sterile. When I'm awake, the dream-sea is dark and oily. It lingers like slug-slime around the edges of woods at dusk, in caves, spilling out of the guts of evil people in their inhumanity. I saw a sea like that once, in California, near LA. Such a sluggishly dark contrast to the sparkling seas further north - exactly like my dreams!
After my subterranean excursion, I sat and thought about the world. I guess my life is imperfect - at times I become complacent, but luckily (so far!) my boredom kicks me back into the creative world of thought and action. But there is so much left that I want to do - be a psychiatrist, write a book, bungee jump, be an astronaut - and I don't want to somehow never get around to it.
I guess I look around and see "reality" as a bubble - a spherical skin that I just can't believe comprises all there is to my life and the world. I want to push and stretch that meniscus as far as I can - out and out in all and every direction, as far as I can without the bubble bursting. Or maybe the bubble should burst? Who knows! All I know is that I want to blur the boundary between what I experience as real and all the rest of existence that *has* to be out there.
I refuse to believe that this is all there is...
And back to the mundane: by the end of Tuesday, I must paint 4 picture frames, write and post 3 letters for my mother, book 2 tables for dinner and pass 1 linguistics exam :P As soon as that exam is over, I'm off travel-shopping: Amsterdam, Paris, Barcelona, backpacking around Greece and Turkey, possible trip to Canada. All of these need looking into. And I need to clear my garden before the winter :)
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no subject
Date: 2003-10-19 04:19 am (UTC)I'm off travel-shopping: Amsterdam, Paris, Barcelona, backpacking around Greece and Turkey, possible trip to Canada.
yikes when is all that happening?
no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 02:48 pm (UTC)heh - haven't heard 'wicked' in a while. And thanks - that was very much a "me" post, not insomuch that I didn't want it read or commented on, but more in that it was a pretty direct tap into my thought processes :)
yikes when is all that happening?
lol - I was still high from the day before :P I meant "window shopping". All of the trips are planned for the near future, but I wanted to get an idea of the max cost from Expedia, then research cheaper options. I hate hotels. The three cities are probably just going to be weekend breaks when I see a cheap flight offer. Maybe backpacking next autumn if I can get my shit together. and Aras and I are cooking up a plot for an infp meetup :)
no subject
Date: 2003-11-03 09:46 pm (UTC)heh a friend of mine imported it here after spending a year in the uk a couple years back.
Aras and I are cooking up a plot for an infp meetup :)
cool, you're gonna come visit your two fave infps? ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-11-04 02:07 pm (UTC)lol - it's a pretty cool word. I still use it fairly often, along with "ace". I try to kid myself that I'm using them in an ironic fashion, but really I just like the words.
cool, you're gonna come visit your two fave infps? ;)
heh - yeah, that's pretty much it :)