If it seems you're gonna fall, You've got 3 days to wander through

[cybermule]

It's the weekend again. Last weekend I walked across the transporter bridge in Newport. I'm proud of that - I hate heights. I'm proud of my week. I have done many brave things.

I opened up to my therapist about my non standard sexuality and relationship modules, and it felt ok. I can go back to my original plan, and this time I will stick to it. I come home and my cat is thrilled to see me again, and she takes up much less space on my bed. My kid loves me, and we have a pretty much perfect relationship for two autistic women on opposite ends of the hormone journey. We do our thing, we help each other out, we regularly and happily reconnect, we own our shit.

What I'm saying here, I think, is that if I look into my world I see perfect templates for how I want my relationships to be - I just have to act on them. And I am more than capable of that. I can pick through a menu of what everyone needs in our interactions and make that work as well as it can.

I am not incapable. There is the fear of growing old alone, but I won't. And you can't totally defend yourself from that. People who are going to disappear will just do it anyway.

Comments

[michaelboy]

I must confess that I had to lookup what the Newport Transporter Bridge is and also how few of them were ever built. Damn, that does look scary/sketchy! Good on you for making it an adventure!

[cybermule]

They are just a massively weird concept and I have to google the mechanics every time before I explain them to someone else. Apparently it's so the bridge can be high enough to let through fully rigged ships. It was scary. It's a long way down and all our rivers around here are very muddy and shiny and treacherous looking.