Foreward from "the Teachings of Don Juan"

I wanted to snag this quote because it fitted in with my current studies of mythology and linguistics, and also because it will form the basis of a post to my pet Yahoo group:

"Anthropology has taught us that the world is differently defined in different places. It is not only that people have different customs; it is not only that people believe in different gods and expect different post-mortem fates. It is, rather, that the worlds of different peoples have different shapes. The very metaphysocal presuppositions differ: space does not confomr to the Euclidean geometry, time does not form a continuous universal flow [aside: see linguistics course on news articles], causation does not conform to Aristotlean logic, man is not differentiated from non-man or life from death, as in our world. We know something of the shape of these other worlds from the logic of native languages and from myths and ceremonies, as recorded by anthropologists.
[snip]
Castaneda rightly asserts that this world, for all its differences of perception, has its own inner logic. He has tried to explain it from inside, as it were - from within his own rich and intensely personal experiences while under don Juan's tutelage - rather than to examine it in terms of our logic. That he cannot entirely succeed in this is a limitation that our culture and our own language place on perception, rather than his personal limitation; yet in his efforts he bridges for us the world of a yacqui sorcerer with our own, the worldof non-ordinary reality with the world of ordinary reality."

More on the music and mythology analogy

Cut, to save space on people's "friends" view.

( Part II )

Characteristics of ACOA - 1

I finished my book on becoming your own parent, and decided that I'd just work through each listed characteristic of an ACOA and note down what I thought. One a day, hopefully ;) It's not a pity-party, but I do need to take an objective look at how I function within my life.

We become isolated and afraid of people and authority figures

Well, I certainly identify with a feeling of isolation. It's got better the past year (coincidentally *ahem*, since I stopped having contact with my parents), but still I occasionally drown in this incredible feeling of aloneness. Nobody knows me, nobody understands me, nobody would notice if I weren't here. And as this is supposed to be an honest look at my life, I have toyed with the idea of not being here any more. Not seriously, but more as an intellectual compulsion. Maybe that's been my way of keeping sane - reminding myself that I do have the option not to be here. The ultimate control over a life that has been quite insane and out-of-control at times. I think it's more than coincidence that I expressed another fundamental aspect of control - my eating habits - pretty much at the same time as my mother started drinking heavily. And the feeling of isolation would probably stem from having to keep so many secrets all the time I was growing up.

Yes - I'm afraid of people. I have a love/hate relationship with humanity. Am I a shy extravert, or a needy introvert? Who knows? I have started to love and trust people, but it's difficult. Often I don't think it's worth the time, that I'd rather make the decisions about any relationships once and for all, take them into my own hands and go and live as a hermit. This plan has also haunted me all my life - even as a very small child I wanted to disappear. To leave. To vanish. To never be found. And this is still my answer in times of crisis - run away, disappear and don't bother trying to deal with it.

Which leads nicely to the final part of the question - authority figures. Ahhh. Obviously I have no problem with authority figures, as I am a nicely brought up, passive and submissive young lady. Dutiful, good grades, well behaved, no trouble to anyone. My relationship with authority figures was a very recent revelation to me. I've always had the tendency to think of pretty much anyone as an authority figure - after all, if a very drunk parent has authority over you, then surely most people must also be superior? Now I've realised that I've always had problems with my superiors, but I've always dealt with it in a passive way. There's always been some very rational reason for me to dislike them, and an equally rational way for me to neatly wriggle out of dealing with them. Jobs, degrees, friendships. They've all gone down the shute of passive-agression. Not always my fault - the convenient excuse of family problems has always been a reality, but it has also served my need to just "not deal".