cybermule | Orkney travel diary

SATURDAY
Started the journey by watching a steam train take off at Temple Meads. Flight was uneventful, other than arriving ten minutes early, which was handy as we had to get a coach forty minutes after touchdown. Whisked to the coach station by the most dour Scottish taxi driver in the universe. Plenty of time for coach, which was good, as I didn't want to spend any more time in Inverness than I had to. Unremitting nausea of a three hour coach journey was relieved by the beautiful countryside (other than Wick - are all Scottish cities grim?) and seeing an eagle! Ferry journey was quick, and basically ended as a free evening tour around Hoy and its spectacular cliffs. Settled into a B&B, then scoured an eerily quiet Stromness on a Saturday night for food. Missed a yummy looking roast squash, but booked for final night on the island, and stuffed ourselves with pizza instead.

SUNDAY
Picked up the bikes that were going to be our mode of transport around the islands for the next five days. Cycled down the high street with confidence. Loaded up panniers with food and camping gear. Cycled up hill out of Stromness and started to regret choice of transport. This day was one of ancient history - Stones of Stenness (spectacular), Ring of Broggar (great, but crowded), and Skara Brae (eerie, also crowded). Skara Brae weirded me out - it looked like we'd just peeled the top off and all the people had run away. I think I was getting sunstroke at that point - we walked along the beautiful white beach and some cliffs, but I was feeling nauseous and tripped out :( Slight teary-fit at the thought of cycling up any more hills :(( Much bottom pain, and very glad to see the B&B earlier than we expected. Went for a picnic tea down on a beach near Birsay and the Kitchener Monument. The livestock here seems immensly inquisitive, following us along and moo/baa-ing, then bucking away.

MONDAY
All my B&B nightmares were realised by having to share breakfast on a small table with three German women. I'm not sociable at the best of times, and pre-10am is not the best of times. In fact, faced with Teutonic efficiency and perkiness, it's the worst of times. Cycled to Birsay, and walked across the causeway to the Brough - a Viking and Pictish village - which was amazing. I really enjoyed looking around, despite the drizzle. Also wandered around the Earl's palace, noting that despite the famous (and confirmed) warm Orkney welcome, before the 19C, Orcadians seemed to mainly likehitting each other with swords. Cycled absolutely bloody miles the rest of the day, due to false bravado. We were going to camp at Evie, mainly because we'd had plans to get the ferry to Rousay. But we'd changed our choice of islands to Westray, and it was raining, and I was convinced I was absolutely fine to continue cycling another 20 odd miles... Ouch. As an aside, the Orkney landscape is quite lovely. Not dramatically striking, but very sea-orientated and pastoral and peaceful. Cycled around the entire north-west of the mainland in one day, and got a really good look at it. Ouch. Ate bere bannock for lunch - barley bread that tastes like pants. Kirkwall was terrifying compared to the backroads - lorries and industrial units and people everywhere. Camped, ate curry, and went to watch War of the Worlds at the local cinema. Slept fitfully, with dreams punctuated with honking tripods :/

TUESDAY
Less cycling. Which was good. Did a whistlestop tour of Kirkwall in the morning - looked around the cathedral, the Earl's and Bishop's palaces, and the Orkney museum. The cathedral is a fine old 12th century building, with spectacular stained glass, dedicated to St Magnus. In those times, in the Orkneys, you mainly seemed to get to be a saint by (a) reading the odd book, and (b) not killing anyone for a while. One of the saints in the stained glass was carrying a large axe. Also several tombs to explorers - Orkney seems to produce a lot of them! The Earl's Palace was like an Escher painting - all stairwells and missing floors. The Orkney Museum was excellent - a small, but perfectly formed Orcadian history, which I'd definitely recommend. Caught the ferry to Westray, and saw seals! Unsuccessful puffin hunting (:(), followed by more cycling to the world's best campsite, with a kitchen and a drying room! Cycled up to the airport to check out flight times to Papa Westray (infrequent. All hail to Boglin and her organisational skills). Marvelled at the white beaches, took lots of photos and played with cats in the ruins of a castle. S cooked the best meal ever, then showered and slept. The mark of a good holiday is how much you enjoy the showers.

WEDNESDAY
Still raining. Got up god-awful-early for the ferry to Papa Westray, and spent an hour or so on the island. Saw the best prehistoric settlement, which made up for accidentally missing the Brough of Gurnsey due to excessive stinky rain. The island's small and beautiful, but I got soaked to the skin and snivelly. Cycling pain was really starting to kick in, which was unfortunate, as we had about half an hour to belt the length of Westray to get our ferry back to the mainland. Skidded onto the ferry just seconds before they lifted the gangplank, and collapsed gratefully in the lounge to sleep. Was persuaded to take it easy for the rest of the day when we got back to Kirkwall, so caught the bus down to the Italian chapel, beautifully constructed from two Nissan huts, wandered around the churchill barriers, saw reindeer, drank saki and ate Chinese food. Oh yes. Slept deeply.

THURSDAY
Back to Stromness. More bloody cycling, only by this time, I'd limbered up and was actually enjoying it. Not even pushing up the hills. Most notable thing about striking camp was helping naked teenage French girl to get her shower working :D Much to the chagrin of my male holiday companion. Heh. Cycled about 20 miles to Maes Howe, via a beautiful hill and loch. Luckily managed to get an earlier viewing slot. Maes Howe is a chambered tomb built from wonderfully crafted and stepped stones, and graffitied by the Vikings. It was so beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes, and is just a wonderful sight. Carried on cycling, retracing some of the first day's route past the Ring of Broggar, then went for a walk on the cliffs at Yesnaby. These were a wonderful contrast to all the watery pastoral landscapes of the journey so far - towering black cliffs, with arches and blowholes. Headed back to Stromness, and returned our faithcul steeds to the cycle rental shop. Actually quite a sad moment :( Checked into our hotel, then showered and went for a walk around the headland near Stromness. Ate wonderful food, then went to bed for very early morning the next day.

FRIDAY
The week went too fast. Work weeks never go as fast, and it's just not fair. Gloom-striken at having to leave such a lovely place, got up at 5:30 to get the ferry back to Scotland. Even taking some lovely sunrise photos of Hoy didn't relieve my general end-of-holiday depression. Hate going home :( Saw what was probably a dolphin from the ferry as we approached the Scottish mainland. The bus journey home was less fun - mostly snoozed and felt sick :( The taxi driver to Inverness airport was funny though - spent a lot of time telling us how expensive all his last holidays had been, and how we should just stay in Scotland as it was much nicer there. Flew back to Bristol surrounded by small blond children, then caught the train back home.

Still don't want to have come back :(