Books: Nonviolent Communication - Marshall Rosenberg

 I honestly can't remember where I heard of this. Possibly through poly stuff? Might be a number of places as it's a bit of a classic. I'd put it on my library reservation list then I left it til it was nearly due back. Then I couldn't renew it because it had holds on it. And I realised I was gutted, as it's actually really good.

I've been wading through my own personal stuff recently, so it's become entwined with that. I'd formed the opinion that I hated talking but was ok at communication if I had to do it. I do that proper listening stuff, and I try to be well thought out and calm. Well, this book adds so much more to that. For me it pinpointed exactly why some response get my back up - that kind of needling passive aggression that always seems to escalate? - but also that there's plenty that I'm guilty of in that area. You can think of it as highlighting the fact that humans have common needs but often conflicting ways of getting them. There are lots of worked examples, and they're not as annoying and drudgy as I find most self-help books.

Unless you're really healthy and well adjusted, you'll probably find this useful. I was gifted a copy that you can borrow. I realised that what I did fairly well as a parent, I often failed to carry into relationships with adults. I also had the revelation while reading it that I actually enjoy gassing away with people if I feel heard, appreciated, and given space to grow towards them. And nowadays, if I'm telling someone how quiet and private I am, that's probably just my subconscious telling me that I'm not comfortable.

Books: The Art of Asking - Amanda Palmer

 Following on from the last review, this was another book in the self progress chain. I realised during all the school stress that I was shit at accepting help. Let alone asking for help. So start with the asking, maybe, and thus the receiving may also be easier. I remembered a friend had said how much they'd got from the book, so I got a copy out the library.

I'll actually get a lending copy for this one too. I followed Amanda Palmer on some sort of social media for a while at one point and then went off her. Maybe because she stole Neil. But I have a nasty suspicion it might just have been some crappy attitude to her...brazenness? Lack of proper femininity in actually going out there and asking for stuff? I don't think they were good reasons. Whatever they were, I like her a lot more after reading this. She's really really honest. Or I assume she is as she's happy to chronicle the fails, the faults and the difficulties in just being in a relationship. With Neil Gaiman, which one would assume was a cinch.

It's hard to describe what this book gave me on a specific level. But it gave me an openness and joy that is going to last beyond the situation for which I originally picked it up. And that's a something <3