I remember when I used to feel something. Now I'm, now I'm, now I'm just cold inside.

We're well into New Year now, I'm back at work and the kid is back at school tomorrow. I fell off the wagon before Christmas - it was looming anyway as I don't think I really got the hang of going back to work in a sane and safe fashion after by chunk of sick leave. But triggers happened and I think I just finally proved a point to myself.

Things twisted a little on their axis way back at Samhain though. I remember going out and enjoying myself. People said I looked nice, laughed at my jokes, acted like I was interesting to be around. So I started to think that maybe I was. Good to be around. It was nice after a long diet of weak insincere compliments and chilly scoffing looks.

So, January detox it is. In the not putting shit in my body and drinking lots of water sense. That's honestly punishing enough for now. Surprisingly the water drinking is the biggest pain. We'll see how getting back to work goes. This is about getting back to work while maintaining my serenity :)