Two occurences

[cybermule]

This morning, I had an interview for a better paid techy job. Could take it or leave it really, in the sense that pros and cons are balanced, rather than in the sense of apathy.

Lately I've noticed that I really couldn't care less what people think of me. I used to worry when people picked holes in things I said, or were sarcastic. I'd worry that they'd think I was stupid, and I'd vigorously defend my corner.

Now I just think, fuck 'em. I'm not sure whether this is because I'm becoming more secure and confident in myself, or whether I'm just turning into an arrogant bitch.

Either way, I just can't be bothered to engage in it at all. Life seems too short.

Comments

[0ct0pus.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure whether this is because I'm becoming more secure and confident in myself, or whether I'm just turning into an arrogant bitch.

The former. :-) Too many stupid people, too little time.

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

That's part of the problem - I'm just so busy these days that I have to focus on the people I really care about. Sometimes I worry whether that's cutting off potential new interests, but the plus side is that I invest a lot less effort in people who piss me off, I guess. I just don't seem to have any ego at all, except when it comes to people I know. Then I might actually care ;)

[quercus.livejournal.com]

whether I'm just turning into an arrogant bitch.
First qualification for a techy job!

Now just remember the huge boots in case a mountain suddenly springs up in the server room.

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

LOL - the huge boots is eerily close to describing my ex, who's ex-job I'm essentially moving in on. Our server room probably needs more beach-like clothing though, as the air conditioning has been known to pack in. Interesting when we had some modern art made of chocolate hung right across the corridor - the ground floor smelled of cocoa for weeks!

[aras-55555.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure whether this is because I'm becoming more secure and confident in myself, or whether I'm just turning into an arrogant bitch.

Whichever, they're both good choices ;)

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

True - to some extent, it depends on the spin you put on them. At least, both options mean that I spend less time angsting about the world ;)

[jo-kat.livejournal.com]

Sadly, I think that people thinking that you’re an arrogant bitch is often an unfortunate side effect of becoming more secure and confident. That’s certainly been my experience… both at work and socially. E.g. After spending years in a co-dependent relationship, where very few people questioned to my face what was quite obviously a quite destructive dynamic for me, I’ve had more people label me as a ‘man-hater’ now that I am strong enough within myself to choose being on my own over being in an unhealthy relationship.

Somehow I doubt a man in the same situation would get seen in such a negative light either.

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

True - what is a healthy self-confidence in a man is often labelled arrogant and unfeminine in a woman. I was thinking about this last night - often I think that we're brought up to just care about everyone, and if we don't, we label ourselves as unfeeling. I was certainly brought up to listen to everyone, to try and help. Whereas my brother was never expected to do anything except what would make him happy.

Ironically, it's him that seems to be in the unhealthy relationship :/

I don't know for sure, but it does seem to be gender conditioning.

[bluwhisper.livejournal.com]

I've been wondering if the same sort of change is needed for me. Not in the personal arena as much as in the professional one. No one finds me threatening. While I don't want to make people defensive, I've found that people are always underestimating me. They aren't threatened by my talents because I keep them carefully guarded. I think maybe I should be stepping up and standing up more. I'm not one to go around quoting Godspell, but I'm starting to think the following might apply to me: "if that light's under a bushel / It's lost something kind of crucial"....

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

Yeah - you do need to promote yourself in life, otherwise, compared to everyone else's bragging, you end up looking really grey. I know I always end up losing out in interviews and things because I expect people to see my qualities and value them, rather than having to point them out. And I think, like you said, there's a difference between fear and respect ;)

You should go for it, babe - it's easier said than done, I know, but you've nothing to lose!

[malcygoff.livejournal.com]

A decent level of abstraction from others is always useful. If people like you, that's great; if they don't, well it's their loss really isn't it!

Hope you get offered the job, even if you decide you don't want it :)

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

Thanks :) I think a more balanced attitude to people will put me in good stead.

[amiga500.livejournal.com]

I keep wanting to try for a promotion, but know that anything with the same company would probably be on a five-day schedule (I work four tens), and pay less, since this one pays bonus. Boredom can be a powerful thing, so at least consider trying something new. And know that women working tech jobs can get away with some pretty attrocious things, or at least that's true from what I've seen.

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

Exactly - you have to weigh the pros and cons. More money doesn't necessarily mean more happiness, for a start!