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Does anyone know how easy it is to repair laminate flooring if some twunt left a big puddle of water on their floor for a few days? It's all gone warpy round the joins, so I was wondering if I could bodge it somehow, or whether I had to relay the floor...

(sorry for the boring question :P)

Date: 2005-12-20 08:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 0ct0pus.livejournal.com
Gah - that hamtoucher.

I suppose cooling (& drying) the room would be the first step - he has tended to keep it in kind of a rainforest condition so maybe less ambient moisture and a bit of moving air would help.

Date: 2005-12-20 09:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cybermule.livejournal.com
Yeah. Hamtoucher indeed - I think I know what happened to the results of all those gargling noises! And certainly drying it out would help the thing settle. Luckily, Steph and I cheated a bit and just layed the laminate over normal underlay, which will have absorbed some of the seepage rather than just leaving it in a puddle under the floor.

Date: 2005-12-20 08:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] boglin.livejournal.com
I would suggest a rug myself. Other than that, heat might do some good. Have you looked on a DIY website? I think both B&Q and Wickes have some advice type pages.

Date: 2005-12-20 09:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cybermule.livejournal.com
I'm very tempted with the rug idea, especially as I'm renting the room out again. Hopefully the next tenant will be less of a pain in the arse! DIY sites are a good idea - I didn't think of that...

Date: 2005-12-20 10:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] boglin.livejournal.com
If it is just a (mostly aesthetic) fault, covering it up does save a lot of hassle, and means you don't have to be too worried about the next tennant buggering things up!

Date: 2005-12-20 10:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cybermule.livejournal.com
True - I can just bodge it a bit now, then sort it out at some point in the future. Thanks for the calm, rational, not-wanting-to-hurt-anyone advice :)

Date: 2005-12-20 10:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quercus.livejournal.com
I think you're stuck with it 8-(

If it's round the edges, then you might be able to brutalise it down flat by nailing, but if the joints have started to spring apart then you're not likely to get them back together.

Do you know where the laminate came from? You might be able to get a couple of matching sheets and patch it.

Date: 2005-12-20 10:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cybermule.livejournal.com
Luckily, the laminate came from B&Q, so not hard to replace, except for the work involved. How would I patch it? Just pull some up and re-lay it?

I might brutalise it a bit anyway, just to see if it helps. Nothing to lose, really.

Date: 2005-12-20 11:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quercus.livejournal.com
It's possible to literally patch laminate to replace fag burns etc., but in this case it sounds like the edges will have suffered first. Depending on the design of the edges then you might need to either lift a coupel of panels and swap them, or else lift the whole lot starting from a wall until you get to the damaged bit, then relay the boards down again.

Or you could just hide the lot under a nice twunt-hide rug.


It seems to be the season for flatmate problems. If it's any unlikely consolation, yours isn't the worse story on my fl - the other involves nutters hammering on the door at 3am.

Date: 2005-12-20 12:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cybermule.livejournal.com
Thanks - I'm so glad you commented :) I think I might bag a couple of spare planks to repair it at some point in the future, but just cover it with a rug for now.

Twunt-hide will nicely match the twunt-head that I plan to nail over the door some time in the near future.

Sympathy to the other flatmate - mine stamps around at about 1 in the morning. It's terrifying!

Date: 2005-12-20 01:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quercus.livejournal.com
Do you get antlers on a twunt? I think I've got a spare set somewhere, you could make a twunt-jackalope.

Date: 2005-12-20 03:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cybermule.livejournal.com
No, but I should probably nail-gun them on at a time when I can get a nice jaunty lifelike angle.

Date: 2005-12-20 04:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 0ct0pus.livejournal.com
With non-metal nails so he can still get through customs and leave!

Date: 2005-12-21 10:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cybermule.livejournal.com
Thanks for reminding me.

*loads up the ceramic nail pack*

Date: 2005-12-20 01:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonskrye.livejournal.com
at the risk of sounding like an idiot...what is a Twunt-hide?

Date: 2005-12-20 01:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 0ct0pus.livejournal.com
The skin of a twunt, dried, cleaned and finished.

*sighs*

Date: 2005-12-20 01:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonskrye.livejournal.com
ok...i guess i should have rephrased my question as i understand what a 'hide' is...what is a twunt?

Re: *sighs*

Date: 2005-12-20 03:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cybermule.livejournal.com
An evil hybrid between a twat and a cunt :) It just sounds more polite, really, and I've always been amused by it.

awww

Date: 2005-12-20 03:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonskrye.livejournal.com
makes sense. i always bother jo and kat for definitions as well. i'm not very familiar with much of the slang from the UK. :)

Re: awww

Date: 2005-12-20 03:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cybermule.livejournal.com
LOL - that'll be it. It's quite hard with slang sometimes, isn't it? I don't really understand some of the US stuff, and I think we're more exposed to it. Then I feel silly for asking...

Thinking about it, I reckon I got twunt off either Jo or Kat ;)

haha

Date: 2005-12-20 03:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonskrye.livejournal.com
those naughty chicks! LOL

i agree with you that it sounds more polite. the 'c' word is worth fighting over ;)

feel free to ask anytime about a word or saying that you don't know. it's all about communication ;) *smooch*

Re: haha

Date: 2005-12-20 03:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 0ct0pus.livejournal.com
Hamtoucher :-P :-)

Re: haha

Date: 2005-12-20 04:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonskrye.livejournal.com
i was trying to stay away from asking about that word....not sure i wanna know :P

Re: haha

Date: 2005-12-20 04:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 0ct0pus.livejournal.com
It actually doesn't mean anything - the first ever non-rude swear word. Share it with friends!

If I was a pedantic internet bloke I could claim it means "one who touches ham". But that obviously doesn't get one anywhere.

Date: 2005-12-20 11:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quercus.livejournal.com
I thought you were implying he was a carnivore! (aren't we all veggies around here?)

Date: 2005-12-21 10:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cybermule.livejournal.com
Heh - we'd have to do a poll to check, but it's probably quite likely. Even [livejournal.com profile] 0ct0pus has been converted to the path of not eating dead charred flesh ;)

Re: haha

Date: 2005-12-20 03:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cybermule.livejournal.com
> the 'c' word is worth fighting over ;)

Aye - I never really thought about it until recently, and then I decided it definitely was. Did you read the book? I read that, and it was a bit annoying in parts, but it really made me think.

And yeah - I'll just ask :) x

Re: haha

Date: 2005-12-20 04:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonskrye.livejournal.com
LOL since i have no idea what book you are refering to then i'll just answer no i haven't ;)

Re: haha

Date: 2005-12-21 10:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cybermule.livejournal.com
that book (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1580050751/qid=1135160143/sr=8-3/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i3_xgl/026-5047673-1030867). A friend lent it to me - it's better than you'd think!

Date: 2005-12-20 04:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quercus.livejournal.com
Supposedly each animal contains just enough brains (suitably pureed) to tan its own hide. Thus explaining the absence of Irish Setter rugs, and the difficulty of procuring good twunt-hide.

Date: 2005-12-21 10:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cybermule.livejournal.com
Hmm. You don't see a lot of retriever rugs either. Surely an argument for genetic engineering? You could ensure that each species - twunts, football lads, Irish Setters - has just enough brains.

Date: 2005-12-21 10:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 0ct0pus.livejournal.com
This would also explain why most of the twunts we work with are so painfully thin :-) It's because of a low brain size.

I shall call this "Quercus' first law of twunts" - Skinny people are hamtouchers.

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