When life becomes art
Nov. 8th, 2021 09:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cybermuleI started a new job today. A cleaning job. So that's a cleaner and a PA along with a web support officer. It's not how I wanted to spend the years before my 50th, but this is how the dice roll. Those things need to be done, and if you pay other people to do them for you you are not one to judge my choices. I can't help noticing that every time I break up a nesting partnership the men get +1 socioeconomic class and I get a downgraded.
I also observe that the upper classes juggle their share options, the middle classes juggle their debt and credit cards, adn the working classes juggle their loyalty points. LIDL and Morrisons, thanks for asking.
I prepped for cleaning, and it reminded me of MAID on Netflix. I need some good gloves, some old clothes, and I don't need to shower in the morning. I love the crazy limestone townhouse, it'll get me fit, and an extra 20 quid a month ain't to be sniffed at before Xmas when I'm owing money to my ex. The woman I clean for is proper mad. She was talking anout her bipolar dad and son and I'm not sure it missed a generation. But her house gives me a warm Harkings feeling.
MAID was kind of triggering. Here's a good article on parentification trauma / abuse:
https://themighty.com/2021/11/relating-to-the-abusive-mother-daughter-relationship-in-netflix-maid/
G and D both had massive mummy issues and parentified me, then hated me for it. Get fucking therapy. A did a bit but wasn't a nice cis hettish middle clash manboy, so I can forgive that.
Also triggering for abuse. Not sure if my ex abused me. I don't think so - I just think he was very used to shuffling his loved ones around to make him feel better. And not owning his shit. That's the actual worst of people. Be an arsehole by all means, but just own it.
Anyway, I did not think I would be scrubbing toilets at 48 but needs must. I need a plan for my half century. But I am not ashamed of my life - I'm actually just starting it all over again.
I also observe that the upper classes juggle their share options, the middle classes juggle their debt and credit cards, adn the working classes juggle their loyalty points. LIDL and Morrisons, thanks for asking.
I prepped for cleaning, and it reminded me of MAID on Netflix. I need some good gloves, some old clothes, and I don't need to shower in the morning. I love the crazy limestone townhouse, it'll get me fit, and an extra 20 quid a month ain't to be sniffed at before Xmas when I'm owing money to my ex. The woman I clean for is proper mad. She was talking anout her bipolar dad and son and I'm not sure it missed a generation. But her house gives me a warm Harkings feeling.
MAID was kind of triggering. Here's a good article on parentification trauma / abuse:
https://themighty.com/2021/11/relating-to-the-abusive-mother-daughter-relationship-in-netflix-maid/
G and D both had massive mummy issues and parentified me, then hated me for it. Get fucking therapy. A did a bit but wasn't a nice cis hettish middle clash manboy, so I can forgive that.
Also triggering for abuse. Not sure if my ex abused me. I don't think so - I just think he was very used to shuffling his loved ones around to make him feel better. And not owning his shit. That's the actual worst of people. Be an arsehole by all means, but just own it.
Anyway, I did not think I would be scrubbing toilets at 48 but needs must. I need a plan for my half century. But I am not ashamed of my life - I'm actually just starting it all over again.
