There comes a time when everyone's plans fall like a dog from a truck bed bandstand

[cybermule]

Well that year was shit, and it nearly killed me. But I am aware now, at least, of how precious I am to myself.

I am more ill, and at least temporarily less kind. Yet you have to roll on forward.

I have thought a lot about many things. The work I have to do on myself.

My chaotic attachment. That I can heal by just not dating any more dickheads. I can commit to that.

My CPTSD. That's the big one now. Being trapped in an emotionally scary situation has ripped it to the surface, and I doubt if it was that easy that the trauma had really gone away. I can commit to keeping myself safe from here on.

My autism. The missing piece that meant however much "work I did on myself" to please myself and others...well, it was never going to fix as much as it should. I can't change my neurodivergence, but I can learn to tame it and keep myself as much as I am able in calm waters.

So those are what I will treat myself to from here on.

And this is still a spectacular album:

https://youtu.be/kttUwMLLS8k

Comments

[michaelboy]

Your introspection and insight will certainly go far in keeping you on a positive life path. The music is pleasantly interesting...I've never heard of them. Thank you!

[cybermule]

I have loved Thin White Rope for years - I'm always glad to spread the love. And thank you :)