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From bad to good
Feb. 13th, 2006 11:52 pmToday started out like shite. Everything made me panic, I couldn't even cope with work, and was in a major stress overload.
Probably due to setting boundaries with my family over the weekend. That always makes me feel like a heel, and boy! do they like to push against them. All I asked for is one measly shopping trip a month and some financial responsibility, and you'd have thought the sky was falling in.
I dug my allotment on Sunday, after a 12 hour sleep-athon. I also did a couple of quotes for business stuff that may drag me in a cool 600 quid. I charge too little for my time, I decided. I did my cashflow analysis for my business plan tonight, along with other small administrative sundries. I feel more cheerful for clearing that, plus the mountain of "real" paid work is starting to erode.
My new lodger is lovely. She left the house so tidy at the weekend that I only knew she'd been there because the house was slightly more tidy than I left it. And she bought us a bottle of wine for later in the week. And we watched TV together.
My big mental challenge at the moment, when I'm not asking my family to act half reasonable, is to balance living in the moment with productivity and planning. How do you reconcile the two? I'm a natural planner. I'm tidy and organised. But how does that not directly contravene my resolution to enjoy the here and now?
I have two mornings off this week. Tomorrow I cycle and swim (today I did a km), and plant some seeds. Thursday, visiting an aunt and doing more allotment.
But now, to bed. Perchance not to dream, as I had a git of a dream last night where my childhood house burned down, everyone died, and then my ex told me just how happy and good everything was with his new bit of crumpet.
Thanks, subconcious.
Probably due to setting boundaries with my family over the weekend. That always makes me feel like a heel, and boy! do they like to push against them. All I asked for is one measly shopping trip a month and some financial responsibility, and you'd have thought the sky was falling in.
I dug my allotment on Sunday, after a 12 hour sleep-athon. I also did a couple of quotes for business stuff that may drag me in a cool 600 quid. I charge too little for my time, I decided. I did my cashflow analysis for my business plan tonight, along with other small administrative sundries. I feel more cheerful for clearing that, plus the mountain of "real" paid work is starting to erode.
My new lodger is lovely. She left the house so tidy at the weekend that I only knew she'd been there because the house was slightly more tidy than I left it. And she bought us a bottle of wine for later in the week. And we watched TV together.
My big mental challenge at the moment, when I'm not asking my family to act half reasonable, is to balance living in the moment with productivity and planning. How do you reconcile the two? I'm a natural planner. I'm tidy and organised. But how does that not directly contravene my resolution to enjoy the here and now?
I have two mornings off this week. Tomorrow I cycle and swim (today I did a km), and plant some seeds. Thursday, visiting an aunt and doing more allotment.
But now, to bed. Perchance not to dream, as I had a git of a dream last night where my childhood house burned down, everyone died, and then my ex told me just how happy and good everything was with his new bit of crumpet.
Thanks, subconcious.
