looking forward...

It was Dad's funeral yesterday :( I haven't talked about this yet, but this journal was supposed to be a record of my thoughts from 30 onwards, and this will be a big part of this part of my life.

Anyway, the past week since I found out has just been unspeakably crap - just lying on the sofa pretty much 24 hours a day feeling completely shattered. The few other things I've done have seemed surreal and trippy, so there really hasn't been much to write about. On Thursday I went to say goodbye to him, which I never thought I would have been brave enough to cope with. My Dad had had a troubled life in the past few years, and we hadn't always been easy with each other, so I wrote him a loving letter and took some of the roses from my garden.

Then yesterday was the funeral, and dealing with a whole bunch of family that I hadn't seen in anywhere between 1-20 years! The service was good though - Jake spoke about my dad's happier days and I read a Tolkien poem, then we all sobbed our heart out to "My Sweet Lord" :/

Feel a bit better now - time to start getting back to my life I guess...