Conversation with my mum

[cybermule]

Mum - so what have you been doing recently?
Mule - mostly working and stuff, but I've got into knitting.
Mum - knitting? Peh! [sounds scornful]
Mule - Actually, it's more fun than I imagined - I've got quite good at it.
Mum - Oh, you get that from me. I was brilliant at knitting. I used to knit everything for you and your brother.

*bangs head on table*

Note that after that, the conversation just descended into how fat I'd got recently, and how long it took to give birth to me cos I had a huge head and lots of medical problems and was a really difficult baby. Whereas my brother didn't hurt at all, the entire labour took forty minutes, and she was thinner after she'd had him than she'd ever been. Miracle baby.

Comments

[belladonna-9.livejournal.com]

Thats mothers for you....you can have your revnge though by telling them how lovely your inlaws are...how helpful ... how many times they ask us round for dinner etc...its great!

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

LOL - I used to think my in-laws were far saner, until I actually met them ;) I don't know what it is about some mothers though... I hope I don't end up like that. I waited quite a long time to have kids partly for the reason that I'd then feel reasonably fulfilled and non-bitter, and therefore would be more supportive to them.

I hope it works...

[belladonna-9.livejournal.com]

My Mother had a "chat" with my sisiter and i when we were very young...do you know what the motherly advice was??

"Never have kids and never get married or your lives will never be your own again"...I didnt stand a chance really...

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

LOL - sounds familiar. My mum drinks like a fish, so I tend to assume that 99% of what she says is utter pants. For example, having me made her really fat, then my brother made her thin again. Unfortunately 1% still filters through...

[amiga500.livejournal.com]

I was told that there was nothing in sex for women. That was a hell of a conversation killer.

My mother's a lovely person, but I don't always mind living in a different country from her. My step-mother-in-law is very kind, but tends to worry, and wants to know where the grandkids are. I think my actual mother-in-law was crazy, but she died when my husband was 16. That leaves me with my husband's best friend's mum, who might as well be family, and is sane, and sweet, and tough as nails. I suspect that having healthy relationships with family is on of the hardest things there is.

[quercus.livejournal.com]

r_is_for_rachel and I are off to do the First Visit To My Parents thing next weekend. 8-(

8-(

(I think you'll understand some of the issues here)

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

Oh dear - I hope it goes ok :/ Where do you parents live? Is it going to be a stay or a visit? That makes a lot of difference...

Also, I've been meaning to invite you guys for dinner for ages. March is busy, but how are you fixed around Easter?

[quercus.livejournal.com]

Ormskirk (West Lancs) We're staying for the weekend, but not sure what we're upto and how much contact we'll actually have. Best to leave the door unbolted and our options open!

Thanks for the invite. I have no idea how I'm fixed (I'm a bloke, how would I know?), but I'm sure we can find a slot somewhere.

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

Some time around the beginning of April?

[dandelion-wings.livejournal.com]

*hugs* sometimes our parents just suck. you are a brilliant and beautiful woman about to experience motherhood. you will do a fantastic job! (sometimes, i try to think of parents as a learning experience so that we can be different people)

[0ct0pus.livejournal.com]

(sometimes, i try to think of parents as a learning experience so that we can be different people)

I like this.

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

That's a good theory. I already worked on that a bit - I waited until I was a bit older, so I'd be less obviously bitter and immature than my mom about having kids. I hope it's OK though - sometimes I worry, with such a crappy role model, you know?

[dandelion-wings.livejournal.com]

*hugs* yeah, i so get it. i actually worried the whole time i was pregnant that i would end up being an abuser. it has lead me to be very much aware of both parenting and of the humans that they are and sometimes i don't met the goal that i hope to, but i'm not an abuser and i think i do a decent job. (only time will tell heh).

the thing that you have to realize is that you are an awesome humanbeing so you already have several points in the right direction. :) it's a learning curve that is for sure and you will take to it like fish in water. have trust :)

<3

[ninneviane.livejournal.com]

You are going to be a fantastic Mum babe - I just know it as sure as I know the sun will rise tomorrow :)

[eve-of-hades.livejournal.com]

Parents suck... sometimes. Sometimes they're good for borrowing money. Or food. But I think that's it.

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

LOL - my mum refuses to eat, as she says it makes her sick (nothing to do with the vodka ;)). And she's richer than me, but insists I do all her shopping and drive her around so that she can save money on taxis and shopping delivery.

So all in all, she's kind of useless ;)

I like your icon, though.

[aras-55555.livejournal.com]

Parents can be so great at building confidence ;)

I can just see where that conversation could go: "So, I'm going to the moon soon." "The moon? I used to go there all the time, but it's not any good anymore."

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

LOL - I swam to the moon. With only one arm. While I was in labour. And I was back in time to cook tea, look after your father and open the shop next day...

[poisonivy.livejournal.com]

Mother’s ehh, who needs them at times. They do have a warped way of thinking they are helping. Luckily I don't have one, so I only have to contend with a mother in law.

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry - if you don't mind me asking, what happened to her?

[poisonivy.livejournal.com]

Oh Very long story, I’ll tell you all about it at some point. In brief, we haven’t spoken in around 10 years. She caused too much upset because of her religion. It's for the best, I’ve been much happier since we broke ties.

[hydroplanechrst.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about your mother. I'm guessing you can understand that just because your mother wasn't the greatest doesn't automatically mean that you won't be a good mother. Your general character seems well suited to motherhood. The first good start was waiting until you were ready.

I'm beginning to feel more and more that I want kids. Not rushing it, though, for similar reasons as you did.

[ninneviane.livejournal.com]

I can never get my head round the way some people exaggerate their birth experiences in either direction - the 100 hours labours (my sister sill insists she was in labour for 60 hours and she so wasn't) and the 40 minute ones that didn't hurt a bit... For such an important and special time in ones life, one would think people would want as accurate and as unblemished a memory of it as possible. Why use something like that a tool to hurt someone else and what a crap way to make themselves feel better :(

It's sso good you and bruv have found a way to be close in spite of this obvious favouritism.

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

I talked to my aunt - she said she didn't remember her labour being particularly long or painful. I trust her, and my build is more similar so it's probably more realistic.

I'm kind of dreading it a little bit, but looking forward to it too :)

[ninneviane.livejournal.com]

Which is exactly how it should be...and if you get totally 'omg fuck that for a laugh' scared, just let me babble on about for an hour or so on one of my woman/goddess/birth/empowerment type babbles - you'll feel super **RAH-bring-it-on** by the time I've finished, promise :)