'tis the season
Dec. 14th, 2007 07:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cybermuleI was strangely touched today to receive presents from one of the ladies I deliver Avon to. Note the plural there - a bottle of wine, and multiple heavy gifts. Blimey. I got all teary, and was eternally grateful that I'd at least written her a card.
I was also strangely touched by watching The Snowman with Ben. I guess I just remember watching it with my dad. He loved Christmas, and at this time of year I miss him a lot. And New Year, when he always used to get quite maudlin. I'm feeling guilty at the moment for not making more effort to stop him re-start drinking. I know it's not my bag to carry, but you probably see why I feel bad.
I'm feeling wobbly in general. I'm tired to the bone, Christmas is a stress (*) and makes me teary and over-sentimental. I feel a bit undervalued by my brother these days, for reasons too numerous and ephemeral to list here. I'll get over that, I reckon. Just listing the things that I morosely ponder in the wee small hours.
I took a trip to Exeter with Ben this week. Exeter is where I went to University, and I took the old frequented scenic route down from Tiverton along the flooded fearful Exe into the north end of the city, where I met my ex for lunch. Weird - him witha wedding ring, and me with a baby - but quite pleasant to catch up. I then went to see my godson. He's two and a half, and doesn't talk yet. Just squeals and kicks and bites. He's getting better, marginally, but there's another thing to worry about. And then I met my ex's mother for lunch on the way back. Which is always nice. I'm glad we still get along, as I have few enough mother-figures in my life.
Continuing on that theme, and back to the * above, I do have some issues with mother figures, I guess. My common-law mother-in-law, for example, winds me up. Her level of pointless perfection at Christmas is a killer for me - the presents are pre-ordered, regardless of whether anyone wants anything in particular, then they have to be meticulously wrapped, correctly labelled and delivered in time for Christmas.
Guess what I was doing today, then?
I'm just from a family that does minimal gifting, and sees each other around CHristmas to drop off any cards and pressies, I guess. And if we can't think of a gift, we don't really bother. My mother-in-law frequently winds me up on all sorts of issues, though, and I'm prepared to admit I do have problems dealing with maternal authority figures.
Anyway, I'm tired and I want to play FF12. See y'all post-festivities...
I was also strangely touched by watching The Snowman with Ben. I guess I just remember watching it with my dad. He loved Christmas, and at this time of year I miss him a lot. And New Year, when he always used to get quite maudlin. I'm feeling guilty at the moment for not making more effort to stop him re-start drinking. I know it's not my bag to carry, but you probably see why I feel bad.
I'm feeling wobbly in general. I'm tired to the bone, Christmas is a stress (*) and makes me teary and over-sentimental. I feel a bit undervalued by my brother these days, for reasons too numerous and ephemeral to list here. I'll get over that, I reckon. Just listing the things that I morosely ponder in the wee small hours.
I took a trip to Exeter with Ben this week. Exeter is where I went to University, and I took the old frequented scenic route down from Tiverton along the flooded fearful Exe into the north end of the city, where I met my ex for lunch. Weird - him witha wedding ring, and me with a baby - but quite pleasant to catch up. I then went to see my godson. He's two and a half, and doesn't talk yet. Just squeals and kicks and bites. He's getting better, marginally, but there's another thing to worry about. And then I met my ex's mother for lunch on the way back. Which is always nice. I'm glad we still get along, as I have few enough mother-figures in my life.
Continuing on that theme, and back to the * above, I do have some issues with mother figures, I guess. My common-law mother-in-law, for example, winds me up. Her level of pointless perfection at Christmas is a killer for me - the presents are pre-ordered, regardless of whether anyone wants anything in particular, then they have to be meticulously wrapped, correctly labelled and delivered in time for Christmas.
Guess what I was doing today, then?
I'm just from a family that does minimal gifting, and sees each other around CHristmas to drop off any cards and pressies, I guess. And if we can't think of a gift, we don't really bother. My mother-in-law frequently winds me up on all sorts of issues, though, and I'm prepared to admit I do have problems dealing with maternal authority figures.
Anyway, I'm tired and I want to play FF12. See y'all post-festivities...
