'tis the season
Dec. 14th, 2007 07:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cybermuleI was strangely touched today to receive presents from one of the ladies I deliver Avon to. Note the plural there - a bottle of wine, and multiple heavy gifts. Blimey. I got all teary, and was eternally grateful that I'd at least written her a card.
I was also strangely touched by watching The Snowman with Ben. I guess I just remember watching it with my dad. He loved Christmas, and at this time of year I miss him a lot. And New Year, when he always used to get quite maudlin. I'm feeling guilty at the moment for not making more effort to stop him re-start drinking. I know it's not my bag to carry, but you probably see why I feel bad.
I'm feeling wobbly in general. I'm tired to the bone, Christmas is a stress (*) and makes me teary and over-sentimental. I feel a bit undervalued by my brother these days, for reasons too numerous and ephemeral to list here. I'll get over that, I reckon. Just listing the things that I morosely ponder in the wee small hours.
I took a trip to Exeter with Ben this week. Exeter is where I went to University, and I took the old frequented scenic route down from Tiverton along the flooded fearful Exe into the north end of the city, where I met my ex for lunch. Weird - him witha wedding ring, and me with a baby - but quite pleasant to catch up. I then went to see my godson. He's two and a half, and doesn't talk yet. Just squeals and kicks and bites. He's getting better, marginally, but there's another thing to worry about. And then I met my ex's mother for lunch on the way back. Which is always nice. I'm glad we still get along, as I have few enough mother-figures in my life.
Continuing on that theme, and back to the * above, I do have some issues with mother figures, I guess. My common-law mother-in-law, for example, winds me up. Her level of pointless perfection at Christmas is a killer for me - the presents are pre-ordered, regardless of whether anyone wants anything in particular, then they have to be meticulously wrapped, correctly labelled and delivered in time for Christmas.
Guess what I was doing today, then?
I'm just from a family that does minimal gifting, and sees each other around CHristmas to drop off any cards and pressies, I guess. And if we can't think of a gift, we don't really bother. My mother-in-law frequently winds me up on all sorts of issues, though, and I'm prepared to admit I do have problems dealing with maternal authority figures.
Anyway, I'm tired and I want to play FF12. See y'all post-festivities...
I was also strangely touched by watching The Snowman with Ben. I guess I just remember watching it with my dad. He loved Christmas, and at this time of year I miss him a lot. And New Year, when he always used to get quite maudlin. I'm feeling guilty at the moment for not making more effort to stop him re-start drinking. I know it's not my bag to carry, but you probably see why I feel bad.
I'm feeling wobbly in general. I'm tired to the bone, Christmas is a stress (*) and makes me teary and over-sentimental. I feel a bit undervalued by my brother these days, for reasons too numerous and ephemeral to list here. I'll get over that, I reckon. Just listing the things that I morosely ponder in the wee small hours.
I took a trip to Exeter with Ben this week. Exeter is where I went to University, and I took the old frequented scenic route down from Tiverton along the flooded fearful Exe into the north end of the city, where I met my ex for lunch. Weird - him witha wedding ring, and me with a baby - but quite pleasant to catch up. I then went to see my godson. He's two and a half, and doesn't talk yet. Just squeals and kicks and bites. He's getting better, marginally, but there's another thing to worry about. And then I met my ex's mother for lunch on the way back. Which is always nice. I'm glad we still get along, as I have few enough mother-figures in my life.
Continuing on that theme, and back to the * above, I do have some issues with mother figures, I guess. My common-law mother-in-law, for example, winds me up. Her level of pointless perfection at Christmas is a killer for me - the presents are pre-ordered, regardless of whether anyone wants anything in particular, then they have to be meticulously wrapped, correctly labelled and delivered in time for Christmas.
Guess what I was doing today, then?
I'm just from a family that does minimal gifting, and sees each other around CHristmas to drop off any cards and pressies, I guess. And if we can't think of a gift, we don't really bother. My mother-in-law frequently winds me up on all sorts of issues, though, and I'm prepared to admit I do have problems dealing with maternal authority figures.
Anyway, I'm tired and I want to play FF12. See y'all post-festivities...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-12-15 04:24 am (UTC)Seems like a wonderful policy to me :)
no subject
Date: 2007-12-16 07:08 pm (UTC)Christmas is so emotionally fraught. I haven't been too bad this year so far but wait until Christmas Day, Boxing Day and the day after when the Monkeys go to their Dadsx and it's just me, the echo's of the days before and the four walls! **hugs**
no subject
Date: 2007-12-17 07:16 pm (UTC)*bangs head on wall*
You're coming to us for Boxing Boxing day, aren't you? ;)
no subject
Date: 2007-12-18 02:06 pm (UTC)If D's already sent present, won't it get there before he leaves for their Mum's anyway?
Will she really be that upset? You'd have thought reason would dictate at a time like that...I mean, at least he got a present and sent it...it's not the end of the world if it wasn't in the right place at the right time due to the circumstances. Mind you...maybe D could just use with stressing less. Seems like Mum does a good enough job for all from where I'm sitting ;)