flaming bloody bastards on a stick :P
Aug. 27th, 2003 04:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cybermuleOK - this has been seething inside me for a while now so I'm just going to blurt it out in a big long rant and hope that gets it off my chest 'cos I know that I'm not really an angry and aggressive person and carrying around this irritation makes me dislike myself.
ode to my family
OK, what the hell is all this whinging, anger and backbiting about who pays the costs for my dad's funeral? I mean, for crying out loud!! Is this a dignified thing to be throwing a strop about, or a respectful way to treat my father's memory? No, I think not!
Point of logic 1: my mother has not received any benefits for funeral costs. This is because my uncle paid. She has received bereavement benefit, but this is to cover the financial transition between two-ness and one-ness. I know that 3/4 of you are "righteously" angry that she has more money than you, but the other 1/4 are taking at least some money off the state so really should keep their mouths shut.
Point of logic 2: the 3/4 of you that don't rely on the state are absolutely loaded. Immorally so, in my opinion. If you want an argument on money and morality, come here and have it. I notice that none of you have actually spoken to me. Why not? Because you know you're wrong. My uncle paid out of the kindness of his heart, he must have known that this would mean that the state wouldn't pay, and what's more, he's a bloody landlord-millionaire. All his tenants are on benefits. He wouldn't be where he was if it wasn't for the same state system that gave my mom a one-off handout, and besides, £1500 is a drop in the ocean to him.
Point of logic 3: why is it not OK for me to pay it, but it is OK for my mom to pay out of her benfits? This makes no sense. I would have paid it to start with, if I'd been around, and now you can have that money, any other savings and every bit of spare money I ever have in the rest of my life if it just shuts you up. Can you not see that money is shit? There is nothing on this planet that I want that can be bought with money. OK, some drugs, some airplane tickets and some CDs, but that destroys the purity of the argument (humour in a rant is a sign of regaining equilibrium):P
Point of logic 4: I'm sorry that you feel it's all my mom's fault that my dad wound up the way he did. I guess that must be some batty family thing that I just don't get, because her family think exactly the same way about my dad. The short, sharp truth of the fact is that they fucked their own lives up. They were the antithesis of soulmates, and dragged themselves and each other down a path of ruin. It's tragic, but nobody really did anything constructive while it was going on.
In fact, all this argument has achieved is reminding me that I spent 10 years of my life trying to handle a home, business, screwed-up younger brother and alcoholic suicidal hell-bent parents, and that nobody really felt the need to interfere then :( Jeez - and I spend my time wondering what is wrong with me that I don't really care about anyone very much. Being upset and self-critical because I feel so detached from all the world except for half a dozen people, several of which I've never met and none of which are actually related to me in any way.
OK, now my brain feels a lot better for not having that rattling around in it like an angry amphetamine-crazed hornet :P I might delete it later, or I might just leave it as a monument to irritation. Either way, let's just stop the bloody freakshow, eh guys?
ode to my family
OK, what the hell is all this whinging, anger and backbiting about who pays the costs for my dad's funeral? I mean, for crying out loud!! Is this a dignified thing to be throwing a strop about, or a respectful way to treat my father's memory? No, I think not!
Point of logic 1: my mother has not received any benefits for funeral costs. This is because my uncle paid. She has received bereavement benefit, but this is to cover the financial transition between two-ness and one-ness. I know that 3/4 of you are "righteously" angry that she has more money than you, but the other 1/4 are taking at least some money off the state so really should keep their mouths shut.
Point of logic 2: the 3/4 of you that don't rely on the state are absolutely loaded. Immorally so, in my opinion. If you want an argument on money and morality, come here and have it. I notice that none of you have actually spoken to me. Why not? Because you know you're wrong. My uncle paid out of the kindness of his heart, he must have known that this would mean that the state wouldn't pay, and what's more, he's a bloody landlord-millionaire. All his tenants are on benefits. He wouldn't be where he was if it wasn't for the same state system that gave my mom a one-off handout, and besides, £1500 is a drop in the ocean to him.
Point of logic 3: why is it not OK for me to pay it, but it is OK for my mom to pay out of her benfits? This makes no sense. I would have paid it to start with, if I'd been around, and now you can have that money, any other savings and every bit of spare money I ever have in the rest of my life if it just shuts you up. Can you not see that money is shit? There is nothing on this planet that I want that can be bought with money. OK, some drugs, some airplane tickets and some CDs, but that destroys the purity of the argument (humour in a rant is a sign of regaining equilibrium):P
Point of logic 4: I'm sorry that you feel it's all my mom's fault that my dad wound up the way he did. I guess that must be some batty family thing that I just don't get, because her family think exactly the same way about my dad. The short, sharp truth of the fact is that they fucked their own lives up. They were the antithesis of soulmates, and dragged themselves and each other down a path of ruin. It's tragic, but nobody really did anything constructive while it was going on.
In fact, all this argument has achieved is reminding me that I spent 10 years of my life trying to handle a home, business, screwed-up younger brother and alcoholic suicidal hell-bent parents, and that nobody really felt the need to interfere then :( Jeez - and I spend my time wondering what is wrong with me that I don't really care about anyone very much. Being upset and self-critical because I feel so detached from all the world except for half a dozen people, several of which I've never met and none of which are actually related to me in any way.
OK, now my brain feels a lot better for not having that rattling around in it like an angry amphetamine-crazed hornet :P I might delete it later, or I might just leave it as a monument to irritation. Either way, let's just stop the bloody freakshow, eh guys?
