(no subject)
Dec. 9th, 2003 09:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cybermuleNot in a very happy mood - I think I've just run out of energy for dealing with the world :( This is mainly my own fault for being over-sensitive - I know that - but mostly I just feel like I'm the only person who gives a shit about things that really seem to matter. Or maybe it's just me going mad, and none of it really matters at all *shrugs* I just don't know any more - don't know whether to keep on fighting for what I think is right, or to just give up and make sure everything is peachy for me like so many other people seem to do.
Blah. I'm just getting stressed and depressed. I shouldn't really take any notice of people telling me how to run my life, but they're so good at making me feel bad :( And now I just want to hide under my duvet with my cat sitting on my stomach and read a good book. And I still have 7 hours and 40 minutes of work where I just want to cry...
I'm OK really - just depressed. I have some good weekend stuff to write - I'll do it later, after bloody office Christmas lunch.
Blah. I'm just getting stressed and depressed. I shouldn't really take any notice of people telling me how to run my life, but they're so good at making me feel bad :( And now I just want to hide under my duvet with my cat sitting on my stomach and read a good book. And I still have 7 hours and 40 minutes of work where I just want to cry...
I'm OK really - just depressed. I have some good weekend stuff to write - I'll do it later, after bloody office Christmas lunch.
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no subject
Date: 2003-12-09 02:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-09 03:04 am (UTC)I just don't know how to break this habit. Mostly I'm OK at shrugging things off (although I'm always a bit over-sensitive to criticism). I guess it's just being a bit depressed and stressed, but I also think I need to find some sort of long-term way to break the thought cycles, you know?
Copycat!
Date: 2003-12-09 05:39 am (UTC)I know how you feel. It sucks and there's not much you can do about it. I'm trying to fight my way out of similar crap myself by refusing to pay attention to any of it. Just hope nothing drastic happens since the last time I tried this someone died on me. Oh well, that's life.
Re: Copycat!
Date: 2003-12-09 08:19 am (UTC)Heehee - I was up first. Just for once, timezones work in my favour :P
Just hope nothing drastic happens since the last time I tried this someone died on me.
Mmm - same here. Like you said in your mail, I've been like this for 5 months too, so it's obviously a common "life events" type thing for us. I just feel so completely hopless at the moment - like life is an inevitable drudgery. I worry that I'll never get back to my pinnacles of happiness, my emotions and aspirations are both completely screwed, and I feel put upon. People don't always directly ask me to do stuff, but it just ends up that I feel obliged to help them out. Like I said to Apel above, I guess I've just got to snap out of the habit of taking responsibility for everything.
I just hope I'm not stuck feeling like this for ever, you know?
Re: Copycat!
Date: 2003-12-09 08:26 am (UTC)Yup, I'm thinking the same thing. That just means its time for a vacation. Time to go out and do something insanely stupid. Wonder what I could do.... I dunno. Oh well.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-09 01:26 pm (UTC)Does it help that I happen to think you're totally, utterly, without-reservation AWESOME?
If you didn't give a shit, you wouldn't be the strong woman I respect so much.
If you need some fuzzies... http://sheep123.keenspace.com .
Re: Copycat!
Date: 2003-12-10 10:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-10 10:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-10 10:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-10 01:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-10 01:31 pm (UTC)(btw - ozyandmillie.org is my all time favorite webcomic)
no subject
Date: 2003-12-10 01:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-10 01:57 pm (UTC)Re: Copycat!
Date: 2003-12-11 10:13 am (UTC)Sounds like you need to become less nice/more selfish. :)
no subject
Date: 2003-12-11 10:22 am (UTC)Neal Stephenson - The Diamond Age. You guys would really enjoy that. The main character spends a large part of the story, literally, inside of a fantasy book. It's like a technologically plausible form of what you two were discussing above (disappearing into cartoons).
no subject
Date: 2003-12-11 01:53 pm (UTC)If the latter, where can i find it?
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Date: 2003-12-12 02:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-12 03:17 am (UTC)Re: Copycat!
Date: 2003-12-12 03:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-12 08:16 am (UTC)*adds to Christmas list*