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Shop and save / Beneath the western Sun
Feb. 10th, 2011 05:04 pmThe Dark Mountain Manifesto set to the words and music of Thee Silver Mt Zion. Probably.
Part 1 - Today’s environmentalists are more likely to be found at corporate conferences hymning the virtues of ‘sustainability’and ‘ethical consumption’ than doing anything as naive as questioning the intrinsic values of civilisation.
This is the picture of the new temporary Tesco in Yate. It will fill the gap between the old, end-block-on-a-precinct Tesco (which I never really went to because Morrisons was better and closer) and some new super Megacity-T hypermarket on stilts which will scan our retinas and assimilate us into the heaving database of Clubcard details before we are allowed to buy small, brown Soviet style cubes of rations. I imagine them as somewhat larger than Oxo cubes, and less tasty. As a two decade old veggie, the flavour will probably be the least of my issues.
I don't have any particular beef (arf arf) with Tesco per se. Yes, I'm aware that their marketing strategy is down the poorly ethical end of the spectrum, along with Asda, but I'm going to make a possibly controversial claim here that all fucking supermarkets are a bunch of cunts who's sole aim is to extract as much money as possible from shafting producers and sticking it to consumers who have to try and buy reasonably priced, nutritionally balanced food that pleases their kids, satisfies their aspirations and fits into the narrow slice of life left over from desperately trundling round the treadmill of applying those two things to every other aspect of their poor fraught existences.
Yes, once more, in its own paragraph for emphasis. All fucking supermarkets are a bunch of cunts, however they spin their cuntishness to attract a particular brand ofvictimcustomer.
Yes, I would buy from Waitrose if I were fucking loaded with cash. It's nicer. Yes, I would probably prefer Sainsburys if there were one near enough to walk to (that's more important for me). Yes, if I have spare cash and can make a difference to actual real poor people, I will (**). I go with Morrisons, but I cheerfully shop at the Tesco Express if I need to, because hey, it offers a good range of reasonably priced food out of normal shopping hours, and like everyone else, I experience #organisationalfail from time to time.
I'm not a joiner, but I am for ever looking for a cause. For a while I hearted the Permaculture people because they were into growing sustainable food, creating community gardens, and teaching kids about growing healthy food. All causes dear to my heart. They did piss me off a little with their insistence on the concept of Bristol being a happy little conurbation of St Werbs, Montpelier and Easton. I believe strongly in a Greater Bristol. But hey, like I said, not a joiner and perfectly capable of organising my own shit anyway. Then they had a complete and total spazz-out about the Tesco in Stokes Croft. It would kill the beautiful little artisan bakeries, independent llamawool hat retailers, and vibrant community of bent fucking spoon repairers that Gloucester Road is known and loved for. And yeah, if you like that sort of thing, Gloucester Road is very lovely, but here I have to state, in it's own paragraph, and emboldened for emphasis:
Poor people have the right to accessible, cheap and varied food too, you stuck up, middle-class, up-your-own-arse tossers!
Yes, there are poor people out there in the liberal republic of inner Bristol. Poor people want to buy decent foodz shockz! And not have to trail up and down a whole street buying handcrafted baked beans that look like pixies and have little knitted hats to save the ozone layer from their own generated farts. And they might want to shop out of normal 9-5 hours. Some poor people even have jobs or no cars!
Hmph. I feel that this might well have been documented elsewhere in my blog, anyhow. It did severely turn me off the Permies, even to the extent of wanting to apply for the job of NO-TO-Tesco web manager, writing wanketywankwankwank all over the website, changing the passwords and running away. But not quite as I just have better things to do with my life. So the point was, Tesco is not always bad, m'kay.
As it happens, I think Tesco will be bad for Yate, and I'm surprised and aghast at how Yate just rolled over and took it from them, unopposed (*) The nice thing about Yate (in my mind, anyway) is that I can buy pretty much everything I want from a compact pedestrianised central precinct, and is the closest I've ever come to a pleasant shopping experience. And I'm aware that I'm in a small minority who want to walk into town, and that nobody really cares about the rest of my companions in that particular slice of society, but as well as standing up for them, I am actually standing up for the rest of the gas-guzzling fuckers who are going to be completely and utterly screwed when petrol is 500 billion quid per ml and their legs have atrophied or been removed to repay the HP payments on their monster trucks.
A hypermarket style Tesco will kill off even more of the town centre. I mean, the bits that haven't been fucked over by the recession, and I probably don't mean the mobile phone shops who will still be there in pernicious crappy little clusters to service the ants when the whole precinct turns into Ground Zero. Everyone will just roll up in their people-carriers, chuck 8 million carrier bags of miscellaneous ill-chosen and over-marketed lifestyle accoutrements into the boot and drive off. I'll no longer be able to buy nose-studs and cheap fruit and veg from the market stalls, and my choice of pant purveyors will be reduced from several to just one brand of bum-coverer. Hey, unless I choose to use my car to drive the half mile or so to the shops, I'll probably only be able to gaze in longingly with the few other scraps of marginalised carless plebs, cordoned off by the ever-circling fence of traffic endlessly pounding round the dual-carriagewayed stretch of impenetrable tarmac that will probably be christened "Tesco Way" by some gurning mayor with a bottle of organic Fairtrade cava. From South Africa, just to show we're all friends now and wonderfully liberal with it.
Thank fuck the hardware store will be on my side of the fence, along with the happy clappy church to supply me with an endless stream of willing-ish martyrs to supply the gaping sacrificial maw of the Tesco monolith.
* - actually, there were two oppositions. One said it might be ugly (Tesco have now been "forced" to plant trees. Lots of them. Thumbs up!) and one from my household complaining about the utter clusterfuck that it will make of the the traffic - to get to town from about a third of Yate, you have to cross a really crappy road with no organised crossing. But hey, it's the poorest third of town and every drives, so who cares?
** - I'm a bitch. I don't care that Tesco sell turtles or some other shit in China. Sorry. If you eat dead things, get over yourself. Eat humans for sustainability. Cod's endangered too.
Part 1 - Today’s environmentalists are more likely to be found at corporate conferences hymning the virtues of ‘sustainability’and ‘ethical consumption’ than doing anything as naive as questioning the intrinsic values of civilisation.
This is the picture of the new temporary Tesco in Yate. It will fill the gap between the old, end-block-on-a-precinct Tesco (which I never really went to because Morrisons was better and closer) and some new super Megacity-T hypermarket on stilts which will scan our retinas and assimilate us into the heaving database of Clubcard details before we are allowed to buy small, brown Soviet style cubes of rations. I imagine them as somewhat larger than Oxo cubes, and less tasty. As a two decade old veggie, the flavour will probably be the least of my issues.
I don't have any particular beef (arf arf) with Tesco per se. Yes, I'm aware that their marketing strategy is down the poorly ethical end of the spectrum, along with Asda, but I'm going to make a possibly controversial claim here that all fucking supermarkets are a bunch of cunts who's sole aim is to extract as much money as possible from shafting producers and sticking it to consumers who have to try and buy reasonably priced, nutritionally balanced food that pleases their kids, satisfies their aspirations and fits into the narrow slice of life left over from desperately trundling round the treadmill of applying those two things to every other aspect of their poor fraught existences.
Yes, once more, in its own paragraph for emphasis. All fucking supermarkets are a bunch of cunts, however they spin their cuntishness to attract a particular brand of
Yes, I would buy from Waitrose if I were fucking loaded with cash. It's nicer. Yes, I would probably prefer Sainsburys if there were one near enough to walk to (that's more important for me). Yes, if I have spare cash and can make a difference to actual real poor people, I will (**). I go with Morrisons, but I cheerfully shop at the Tesco Express if I need to, because hey, it offers a good range of reasonably priced food out of normal shopping hours, and like everyone else, I experience #organisationalfail from time to time.
I'm not a joiner, but I am for ever looking for a cause. For a while I hearted the Permaculture people because they were into growing sustainable food, creating community gardens, and teaching kids about growing healthy food. All causes dear to my heart. They did piss me off a little with their insistence on the concept of Bristol being a happy little conurbation of St Werbs, Montpelier and Easton. I believe strongly in a Greater Bristol. But hey, like I said, not a joiner and perfectly capable of organising my own shit anyway. Then they had a complete and total spazz-out about the Tesco in Stokes Croft. It would kill the beautiful little artisan bakeries, independent llamawool hat retailers, and vibrant community of bent fucking spoon repairers that Gloucester Road is known and loved for. And yeah, if you like that sort of thing, Gloucester Road is very lovely, but here I have to state, in it's own paragraph, and emboldened for emphasis:
Poor people have the right to accessible, cheap and varied food too, you stuck up, middle-class, up-your-own-arse tossers!
Yes, there are poor people out there in the liberal republic of inner Bristol. Poor people want to buy decent foodz shockz! And not have to trail up and down a whole street buying handcrafted baked beans that look like pixies and have little knitted hats to save the ozone layer from their own generated farts. And they might want to shop out of normal 9-5 hours. Some poor people even have jobs or no cars!
Hmph. I feel that this might well have been documented elsewhere in my blog, anyhow. It did severely turn me off the Permies, even to the extent of wanting to apply for the job of NO-TO-Tesco web manager, writing wanketywankwankwank all over the website, changing the passwords and running away. But not quite as I just have better things to do with my life. So the point was, Tesco is not always bad, m'kay.
As it happens, I think Tesco will be bad for Yate, and I'm surprised and aghast at how Yate just rolled over and took it from them, unopposed (*) The nice thing about Yate (in my mind, anyway) is that I can buy pretty much everything I want from a compact pedestrianised central precinct, and is the closest I've ever come to a pleasant shopping experience. And I'm aware that I'm in a small minority who want to walk into town, and that nobody really cares about the rest of my companions in that particular slice of society, but as well as standing up for them, I am actually standing up for the rest of the gas-guzzling fuckers who are going to be completely and utterly screwed when petrol is 500 billion quid per ml and their legs have atrophied or been removed to repay the HP payments on their monster trucks.
A hypermarket style Tesco will kill off even more of the town centre. I mean, the bits that haven't been fucked over by the recession, and I probably don't mean the mobile phone shops who will still be there in pernicious crappy little clusters to service the ants when the whole precinct turns into Ground Zero. Everyone will just roll up in their people-carriers, chuck 8 million carrier bags of miscellaneous ill-chosen and over-marketed lifestyle accoutrements into the boot and drive off. I'll no longer be able to buy nose-studs and cheap fruit and veg from the market stalls, and my choice of pant purveyors will be reduced from several to just one brand of bum-coverer. Hey, unless I choose to use my car to drive the half mile or so to the shops, I'll probably only be able to gaze in longingly with the few other scraps of marginalised carless plebs, cordoned off by the ever-circling fence of traffic endlessly pounding round the dual-carriagewayed stretch of impenetrable tarmac that will probably be christened "Tesco Way" by some gurning mayor with a bottle of organic Fairtrade cava. From South Africa, just to show we're all friends now and wonderfully liberal with it.
Thank fuck the hardware store will be on my side of the fence, along with the happy clappy church to supply me with an endless stream of willing-ish martyrs to supply the gaping sacrificial maw of the Tesco monolith.
* - actually, there were two oppositions. One said it might be ugly (Tesco have now been "forced" to plant trees. Lots of them. Thumbs up!) and one from my household complaining about the utter clusterfuck that it will make of the the traffic - to get to town from about a third of Yate, you have to cross a really crappy road with no organised crossing. But hey, it's the poorest third of town and every drives, so who cares?
** - I'm a bitch. I don't care that Tesco sell turtles or some other shit in China. Sorry. If you eat dead things, get over yourself. Eat humans for sustainability. Cod's endangered too.
