The 10 commandments of cybermule's stable

[cybermule]

1. Thou shalt not spit in the corner of thy room, for that is gross
   
2. Thou shalt pay thy rent on time, in full, and not winge about English cash machines
   
3. Thou shalt not empty thy surplus water out of the glass and onto the floor just because thou canst
   
4. Thou shalt not leave prawns in the plughole, for they are dead flesh
   
5. Thou also shalt not leave peanut shells in the plughole, for they do not have the mystic power of cleaning themselves into the bin
   
6. Thou also shalt not remove the plug filter to pour noodles down the sink, mash them down with a fork and then leave the sink blocked, for the stable is not blessed with fairies to clean up thy mess
   
7. Thou shalt not take a shower without using the shower curtain, or if thou dost, thou shalt wipe the fucking floor
   
8. Thou shalt not fill the bin up, then balance even more crap on top of the bin. Thou shalt refer to the 6th commandment, regarding cleaning fairies and the lack thereof
   
9. Thou shalt keep thy food in the kitchen where it shalt not rot and smell out the higher realms of the stable
   
10. Thou shalt never touch the fucking thermostat or heating controls ever, not even if thou art freezing thy arse off, for the mighty mule does not care even if thou shouldst die
    

For the cybermule is a vengeful god that requires simple courtesy and common sense, and shall eternally hold over thee the power of writing references for thy next lodging.

Comments

[eve-of-hades.livejournal.com]

I take it someone has done these things to you & seriously pissed you off

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

Oh yes! But they've gone now, so I'm happy!

[eve-of-hades.livejournal.com]

Glad to know you're feeling much better now

[amiga500.livejournal.com]

I guess what I've I've learned from reading this is that it's good to keep prawns around for when the drain plug goes missing. We have a Badger 3 garbage disposal that I suppose would help with the sink problems, except, after inadvertantly dropping a juice glass down another one, and having it pretty well explode, I'm afraid of it. I guess it's a sad statement when homes come pre-loaded with appliances named after irritable animals that exist only to try to compensate for being too lazy to throw things out proper.

[quercus.livejournal.com]

I _so_ want kitchen appliances named after badgers

[malcygoff.livejournal.com]

I'm glad it wasn't just me that found the "Badger 3 garbage disposal" somehow alluring. _{Tho I doubt anyone else google'd for it...}

[gwyn-hwyfar.livejournal.com]

You should definitely print this out, frame it, and hang it in the apartment for your next tenant. It is the perfect mix of humor and warning!

[eve-of-hades.livejournal.com]

Good idea

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

LOL - very tempting to nail it to the door!

Privacy, sweet privacy

[apel.livejournal.com]

I admire you for being able to have lodgers at all. I'd be insane within a few days.

Re: Privacy, sweet privacy

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

I'm ont dealing with it very well - I'm extremely private! I'm going to give it one last go, then I'll either move house, or just try to make ends meet on my own.

[aras-55555.livejournal.com]

Holy shit, did you have a lodger or a bear making its nest?

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

A very small and annoying bear is my bet. Wild animals are generally quite clean, though *sniff*

[unsane1.livejournal.com]

lmao

[zleetle.livejournal.com]

^^ditto!^^

[malcygoff.livejournal.com]

What a fantastic message. A really inspired piece of work :-)

[divinechaos666.livejournal.com]

Then you'd find my mum ever sooo annoying!!!!