Blah :(

[cybermule]

I feel shite - my mood's been up and down like a yo-yo this week. I'm not prone to hormonal shifts, so I hesitate to put it down to that, but healthwise, the virus and the lack of nicotine are probably adding to my crankiness.

However, what I really think is at the bottom of it is having to deal with my family again on any involved level. I just can't handle them at all - yesterday, my mum flew off the handle at me for asking whether she wanted to take her sofa when she moves (I had to book a removal man at 10 days notice for a Saturday, so it was a pertinent question). Then she phoned my brother and told him she didn't want to move any more. Then my brother phones me and complains that the removal man is costing too much (£120 for two men to move all my mom's stuff). He cheerfully spent £75 of mum's money to move his stuff 4 miles! *shakes head*

I really was at my happiest when I had nothing to do with any of them for 15 months. That ended badly, so I guess I'm trying to over-compensate. Plus, to be honest, I don't really like either my brother or my mother much, so I try too hard to be perfect to them to make up for the fact that I really don't like them. But it's all kind of pointless, I reckon - it makes me horrible to be around, stressed and hyper and paranoid. Plus I really can't do anything right - as they've got nothing concrete to complain about, they constantly bitch to anyone who'll listen that I'm rich and spoiled :p

Blah. I just can't cope with them. I'll move my mother somewhere sensible, then I'm going to have a long break from them. And in the mean time, I'm not going to pander to them - like they do to me, if I don't want to do something, I'll just say so. They are definitely unreasonable and unpleasant, but I need to add the word "no" to my vocabulary.

Meh.

Comments

[apel.livejournal.com]

...I need to add the word "no" to my vocabulary.
Sounds like a good idea! It doesn't actually matter that they are family, if they don't behave reasonably toward you, you don't have to behave reasonably toward them.

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Apel. I respect your opinion on this sort of thing.

If I look at my family objectively, they are really unreasonable at times, but I have a bad habit of getting sucked into their opinions and hassles. I get on with them just fine at a casual and occasional level, but I really do need to say no to anything more than that.